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This Is the End

This Is the End (2013)
Directed by: Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 84%

Hey Film Fans!

I just got back from a week long vacation to Virginia Beach so that is why I haven't updated in a while! To kick things back into gear I want to discuss This Is the End. I saw it as part of a double feature at the Star Light Drive-In in Atlanta. It's $7 a person and you get to see two films (the other one we saw was The Heat) so it's a pretty good deal. I didn't really have high hopes for the film because large ensemble comedies have a tendency to fall flat (or completely implode). That is not so for This Is the End.

This Is the End was penned by Rogen and Goldberg who also brought you Superbad, Pineapple Express, The Green Hornet, and The Watch. I liked all of these movies so I was excited for This Is the End. The film starts with Jay Baruchel arriving in Los Angeles on a trip to visit Seth Rogen. The two hangout at Seth's house and catch up (smoke loads of pot and play video games). Seth mentions that James Franco is having a party and that they should stop by. Jay is upset because he wants to spend time with Seth and he despises James. Jay eventually caves and the two go to the party. Almost every twenty or thirtysomething in Hollywood you can think of is at James' house partying hard. Michael Cera is playing pool in a track suit, is coked out of his mind, and is acting very UN-Michael Cera-ey (he keeps slapping Rihanna on the ass and yelling at everyone about his awesome coke). Jay and Seth leave to pick up something from a local convenience store and that is when the world goes to sh*t. Blue lights shoot down from the sky and make select people disappear. What results is a world full of chaos. The ground in front of James' house opens up and several celebrities fall in. Aziz Ansari pleads with people to help him up but eventually succumbs to the hole. The remaining celebrities that have survived regroup inside of the house and go over their supplies.


Everyone then decides to get some rest so they can face whatever comes at them the next day. They are surprised when it is revealed that Danny McBride had been passed out in a bathtub all night and has no idea what is going on. He wakes up and promptly uses almost all of their remaining supplies to make a large breakfast. After some time the group comes to the conclusion that they are in the aftermath of The Rapture that is prophesied in the book of Revelation (no S) of the Holy Bible. If this is true, then a fight with Satan can't be too far off.

I was actually surprised at how coherent the story for This Is the End was. Having seen the abomination that was Movie 43 I didn't have high hopes for the ensemble comedy. I am happy to say that I was wrong. The reason This Is the End works is because outside of the end of the world scenario, it is totally believable. Everyone in Hollywood is connected with everyone else so why wouldn't they all get together and party? What adds to the believability is the fact that Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg have worked with pretty much everyone in the film. It just doesn't seem far off base to think that when the world goes to Hell, these guys will most definitely witness it together. My favorite parts of the film are James Franco's obsession and devotion to Seth Rogen, and Jonah Hill's completely put on admiration and respect for Jay Baruchel. Throughout the film, James makes references to an underlying feeling of love for Seth and it makes for some awesomely awkward moments. For instance, in his home, James has two large portraits hanging on his wall; one of himself and one of Seth Rogen. When the time comes to use them for barricades (or firewood I can't remember) James insists they leave the one of Seth intact and that they take his.

One of the ongoing themes of the film is Jay's unfounded feeling that Jonah Hill hates him. Seth assures him that it isn't true and that Jonah is the nicest guy in the world. During the film, Jonah tries to comfort Jay and win his friendship by killing him with kindness. It is revealed towards the end that Jonah actually does hate Jay and wants him to die. He prays to God asking Him to kill Jay so that he doesn't have to see him anymore.

There is a reason that This Is the End is rated so high on Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb; it's a good flick. This is one I think you can justify paying theater prices for, because you'll be laughing with the rest of the audience. Obviously, if you don't like crude humor then you may want to skip this, but if you can't laugh at crass jokes every now and then, why laugh at all?

My Score: 7.5/10

The Heat

The Heat (2013)
Directed by: Paul Feig
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 63%

Hello Film Fans!

Sorry it's been awhile since my last review. I proposed to my girlfriend of four and a half years two weeks ago so we have been busy. I will probably start doing more new RedBox/Netflix films more often than theatrical films (gots to budget properly, ya know?), but there are definitely some big ones I will be seeing (Wolverine, Thor, others...). This past Saturday, Katie and I went and saw TWO movies for the price of one courtesy of the Starlight Drive In Theater. This review will be of The Heat and the second one will be for This Is the End. Also, a little note about the image for this review: I refuse to use that awfully butchered theatrical poster. Melissa McCarthy looks like a ghost and it haunts my soul so instead, I decided to use an image where both Bullock and McCarthy look like they could destroy the person that botched that Photoshop job. That is all.

The Heat stars Sandra Bullock as Sarah Ashburn and Melissa McCarthy as Shannon Mullins. Sarah is a special agent with the FBI that is on course to be promoted. She is exceptional in the field and follows the rules to a T. This makes other agents look like amateurs and, thus, causes resentment. The rift between Sarah and the other agents forces her superior to reassign her to the Boston office. Sarah reluctantly takes the position in hopes to prove her mettle. Shannon is a detective with the Boston Police that gets things accomplished in a unique fashion. When Sarah begins investigating a drug lord, her path crosses with Shannon's. This causes conflict because of their drastically different approaches to their careers. Shannon is a tough Boston officer with a soft spot for her family and neighborhood and Sarah is anxious to close the case and get back to New York. The two eventually find a common ground (putting criminals in prison), and are able to bond.

I must admit that I didn't have high hopes for this film, but I am not really sure why. I absolutely loved Bridesmaids, Sandra Bullock is pretty incredible, Melissa McCarthy is probably the funniest woman in Hollywood right now (Kristin Wiig is right there with her), and Paul Feig has never made anything bad (Freaks and Geeks...enough said). Still, I just wasn't excited about The Heat. Perhaps it was because everywhere I looked I saw the trailer (which can get old really fast), or maybe it was because it seemed that Bullock was reprising her Miss Congeniality role (she's not). Whatever the reason, I am glad I saw it. Kate Dippold's first feature length script is filled with great characters, witty dialoge, and a pretty engaging, albeit generic, story. It further solidifies my desire to see McCarthy star in a film rather than share the spotlight with other comedic power hitters. Bridesmaids was arguably her breakout role but she has been active for a while. I first saw her on Gilmore Girls (that show was amazing):

She also stars in Mike and Molly opposite Billy Gardell:

She has been fantastic on SNL:
I love this skit

Along with these TV and film appearances, she also has a YouTube character named Marbles Harsgrove:

I feel McCarthy has the chops to carry a film without having to attach a gimmick to her character. In Bridesmaids she was a homely government agent, in Identity Thief she was a criminal, and in The Heat she was, again, a homely officer. I'd like to see her as a typical woman that happens to be hysterical. The counterpoint to this suggestion is that McCarthy works best in an ensemble. That is what made Bridesmaids so funny. The collection of hilarious women made the film so much better. Whatever the case may be, I am excited to see more of her films.

Eventhough I always suggest against seeing comedies in the theater, I would say that this one is a pretty safe bet. The comedy will likely be heightened by the shared laughter and the money you spent will be justified. There is quite a bit of language so if that is something that offends you then perhaps steer clear. Watch for director Paul Feig's cameo (as well as McCarthy's husband, Ben Falcone).

My Score: 7/10

The Internship

The Internship (2013)
Directed by: Shawn Levy
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 33%

Hello Film Fans!

I hope everyone had a great Father's Day! My girlfriend and I celebrated by taking her dad to a movie. We chose The Internship because it would be appealing to all three of us (they didn't want to see Man of Steel again for some reason). A friend of mine had seen a sneak preview of the movie and said it was cool to see all of the spots in Atlanta (where we live) that they used. I remember seeing Life As We Know It and feeling giddy when I saw the skyline plus I do like Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. What we got is a passable comedy wrapped up in a two hour commercial.

Billy (Vaughn) and Nick (Wilson) are struggling in sales postions in an antiquated career. While on an important dinner business meeting the two are informed (via their potential client) that their company has folded. Unemployed and defeated the two struggle to find work amid a young workforce. Nick begins working in a discount mattress store with Kevin (Will Ferrell in a great cameo), and Billy searches for job positions open in the area. It dons on Billy that the two could be interns at Google which could lead to incredible opportunities for both of them. Billy convinces Nick to leave his job and to try for the internship. The two are begrudgingly accepted into the program and are stuck in a team of outcast interns. With the odds stacked against the team, they prove that their quirky collection of misfits is just effective as the "better teams" (including douchey Max Minghella's team). Billy and Nick prove that experience, tenacity, and lots of eighties movies references can get you far in life.

Above, I stated that The Internship is a two hour Google commercial and I stand by that, however that isn't a bad thing. Google is one of the biggest companies on Earth and they got that way for a reason. I use Google all the time for search, email, maps, images, and blogging (duh). If seeing a movie stupid with product placement is not appealing to you then perhaps think twice about seeing one that has the plot of "two guys get an internship with Google". Getting upset about that would be like seeing the Steve Jobs biopic and complaining about all the Apple references. I have stated before that I just don't like to see comedies in the theater because they seldom pay off. I feel that The Internship was just funny enough to warrant the ticket price. Shawn Levy has made an impressive string of good movies (and one really great one): Date Night (the great one), Real Steel, and The Watch were all funny and I saw all of them in the theater (Real Steel was a matinee).

This movie was brilliant.

The Internship is a classic underdog story. We love underdogs because it represents us; real people. Life is an underdog story. We have all these incredible odds stacked against us yet we manage to scrape through life and some of us do it pretty comfortably. Seeing the group of "Outliers" vie for the coveted positions at Google is like watching us or our friends fighting to make a name for themselves. It's escapist in a grounded way. Where the film falls short is some of their characters. I liked Nick but just couldn't bring myself to fully allow myself to care about Billy. Vaughn's signature say-whatever-comes-to-mind-and-roll-with-it type of improv is great throughout, but he is SO over the top enthusiastic that it grates on the nerves. Even Minghella's "villain" Graham was too much of an ass to have made it that far in life (although Jersey Shore was a thing so...maybe it's not impossible). This wasn't my favorite role for any of the actors involved, but it didn't detract from the quality of the story or jokes.

The Internship is funny and worth seeing. If you really like the Wilson/Vaughn duo then I would say see it with a group at a theater if you can find a matinee, otherwise, RedBox or Netflix it once it makes it to DVD. The laughs are there but you won't be in tears because of it.

My Score: 6.5/10

Man of Steel

Man of Steel (2013)
Directed by: Zack Snyder
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 59%

Hello Film Fans!

Being the nerd that I am, I love superhero films. I had never been an Iron Man fan until the movie...after that, I was hooked. The hero I hold dearest to my heart is The Caped Crusader; The Dark Knight; The Batman. His lack of traditional powers is what makes him so appealing. Critics point to this as reasoning against proclaiming him as a superhero, however they couldn't be further from the truth. Batman is abnormally smart, is incredibly observant, and has a seemingly eidetic memory. Just because he can't fly doesn't mean he isn't super. On the other end of the spectrum is Superman. Supes has just about every power you can name: flight, strength, heat vision, x-ray vision, and invulnerability. He is so overpowered that the only way to effectively fight him is to have access to an element (Kryptonite) that does not occur naturally on Earth. I have despised Superman for years because of his excessive abilities. The old question of whether who would win, Batman or Superman, is a stupid question. Superman should win every time because Batman doesn't have a stockpile of Kryptonite. The question of who is a better more interesting hero is undoubtedly Batman. Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy brought the Dark Knight back to the level he deserves to be at, and his deft hand is trying to do the same with Superman. The Nolan produced/Snyder directed Man of Steel attempts to bring Superman to a gritty new level. Did they succeed? Find out!

!!!Obligatory Spoiler Warning!!!

I am going to provide a short summary of the film. Most of what I will reveal below can be gathered from the trailer and/or prior knowledge of the Superman mythos.
If you don't know the origin story of Superman, I will explain it now (also where have you been). Krypton was a planet far far away from Earth. The people of the planet were an advanced race but they had reached the tipping point of their existence. Since I have not followed the Superman comics, I can only provide the story that the film tells. The persistent expansion of the Kryptonions have forced them to harvest energy from their own planet's core. This eventually causes the planet to implode. Acting out of rage for his people, General Zod (Michael Shannon) decides to take over Krypton in an effort to preserve its people. Jor-El (Russell Crowe), realizing that those on Krypton are all doomed, decides to send his newly born son, Kal-El, to a distant planet where he can rebuild their race. He chooses Earth because an old scout ship had been sent there thousands of years earlier and it would be a suitable home for the new Krypton. He embeds all of the information about Krypton inside Kal-El's DNA and sends him off. As punishment for his betrayal, Zod and his army are sentenced to a place called The Phantom Zone. There are to remain encased in an icy substance for hundreds of years. WHen Krypton explodes, Zod is released from captivity and he begins to hunt for Kal-El. Kal-El's ship lands in Smallville, Kansas and is discovered by Jonathan (Kevin Costner) and Martha (Diane Lane) Kent. They rename Kal-El Clark and they raise him as their own son. Clark suffers through growing pains a tad different than the normal teen. The radiation from the Earth's sun provides Clark with superhuman abilities. In addition to this, the lighter gravity of Earth allows Clark to do truly extraordinary things. The first half of the film is told through flashbacks that reveal how Clark has made it to his current station in life. When a NASA satellite is pinged by a foreign object in Northern Canada, Lois Lane (Amy Adams), a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter for The Daily Planet, is sent to investigate. After some snooping, she discovers that the object is, in fact, a huge alien ship. She encounters Clark and he convinces her to stop trying to discover who he is. Clark activates the ship and moves it to a remote place at the North Pole Due to Clark activating the ship he found, General Zod is alerted to Clark's presence. Clark decides that the people of Earth must know of his existence, whether they're ready or not.

This is the most beautiful superhero film I have ever seen. There are great moments that show Clark growing up that foreshadow events that occur later in his life. Other than some of the cheesy computer imagery, the film shows a skilled director's hand throughout. Something that has been evident in several Superman stories are the religious undertones. Man of Steel is not without. First and foremost, Clark is 33 years old when he decides to reveal himself to the world. This is the same age Jesus was when he learns of His fate. Jor-El says that Kal will be a god among men. This is literally what Jesus was; a God among men. Clark's abilities come from the Sun which is located in "The Heavens". The ship that Clark finds was designed by Jor-El. When Clark inserts the "key" that was sent in his pod, the ship recognizes him as Kal-El and a "shadow" of Jor-El appears. He is able to be anywhere in the ship immediately, and he can also sense the presence of intruders. This effectively makes him Omnipotent and Omnipresent; it makes him God. There is even a point in the film where Clark must decide what he wants to do: come forward and protect Earth, or remain in hiding from Zod. He walks into a church and seeks the advice of a priest. As he sits in the pew, we see a stained glass depiction of Jesus over his right shoulder; real subtle. Perhaps the most compelling piece of the Christ analogy is the need for sacrifice. Something that Superman doesn't do is kill. He'll beat suckers into submission everyday, but when it comes to murder, he shies away. It is mentioned by one of the invading Kryptonians that Clark's sense of morality will be his downfall. During a battle, Clark pleads with an enemy that is threatening to kill a helpless family with their heat vision. During the confrontation Clark must make the decision; save the family or keep his morality. He decides to save the family and, thus, sacrifices his humanity. The story of a Superman is such a great backdrop for a Christ allegory and it makes me wonder how many will pick up on it.

Man of Steel is great. As I mentioned above, I am not a Superman fan, but I am glad I saw this film. It is definitely worth seeing in the theater. Snyder and Nolan do a fantastic job of abandoning the campiness associated with the hero, and injecting some reality. Superman doesn't feel overpowered. He has his work cut out for him with Zod and his army. They replace the neon green Kryptonite with a grayish metal, and they explain why Clark is weak around it. See Man of Steel ASAP.

My Score: 9/10

Safe Haven

Safe Haven (2013)
Directed by: Lasse Hallström
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 14%

Hello Film Fans!

Every once and a while, my girlfriend lures me in to watching a romantic movie. I have seen almost every Nicholas Sparks adaptation (something I am not proud of), and I have seen both of Garry Marshall's romantic-movie-that-takes-place-over-one-day movies (in the theater). So when a friend of ours mentioned that Cobie Smulders was in Safe Haven I expressed interest in seeing it (because come on, it's Robin). I had no idea it was a Nicholas Sparks movie. I saw that Josh Duhamel was in it so that made things a little better (Life As We Know It was actually pretty great), but I was determined to hate it. So sit back, open up a bottle of red wine, and enjoy my review of Another White People Kissing Movie by Nicholas Sparks: Part 8.

Katie (Julianne Hough) is on the run from an unknown assailant. We see her stumbling around her neighborhood until she reaches a place where she knows she'll be safe. We then see her leaving the neighbor's house and head to the bus station. Meanwhile, we see Detective Kevin Tierney working to find an unknown murder suspect that bears a resemblance to Katie. He follows leads to the bus station where he attempts to find her. Luckily for Katie, she had boarded a bus and left right before the police began searching every bus. As the bus travels to an unknown destination, Det. Tierney continues to hunt for his suspect. He even hassles the neighbors and reads their mail in an effort to find the girl. The bus stops for fuel at a small town located on a river in North Carolina. Katie likes the town so much that she decides to stay and let the bus continue without her. She secures a job waitressing at a local restaurant and manages to find a small cabin within her budget (what luck!). Katie meets her only neighbor, Jo (Cobie Smulders), while walking around outside. Jo says she understands the desire for privacy and won't bother her if she doesn't want her to. Katie accepts Jo's friendship and things begin to fall into place. Alex (Josh Duhamel) is a widower with two children. He owns and operates the local convenience store and he immediately becomes smitten with Katie. He fixes a bike for her to use so she doesn't have to walk everywhere, and he makes her feel welcome in the town. Things don't stay perfect for Katie when Det. Tierney discovers where she is hiding.


As far as Romance films go, this one wasn't terrible. I like Josh Duhamel and Cobie Smulders so I could justify the time spent watching it. There was nothing truly significant, film wise, to make it stand out. It is an easy to digest film with pretty likable characters. If Nicholas Sparks is your cup of tea, then you can't pass this up. Also, if you don't have enough How I Met Your Mother in your life (I don't) then here is this:


My Score: 6.5/10

The Purge

The Purge (2013)
Directed by: James DeMonaco
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 44%

Hello Film Fans!

Rarely do I get excited about horror films. As a child, I was terrified of the classics: Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Halloween. They instilled that healthy fear of the unknown, but I never had "fun" watching them. Fast forward a few years to high school and my opinion changed. I had been doing research on the Amityville murders because of the remake that was about to hit the theater. I found everything I read to be absolutely intriguing. I got excited for opening night and even convinced some friends to go with me. I laughed throughout the whole film. The things they said and did were incredibly contrived and inaccurate as to what "really happened". I saw horror movies in a different light after that. I even went and bought the DVD of the scariest movie I have ever seen; John Carpenter's (I hate that I have to make that distinction) Halloween. I still don't pay to see outright horror films because they just aren't what I like. Thrillers, on the other hand, are some of my favorites. It can be a good psychological thriller (Se7en), a great political thriller (All the President's Men), or maybe even a gripping crime thriller (The Usual Suspects). The horror subgenre of thriller is one that has had some heavy hitters in the past (The Shining, Alien, The Ring) but the scariest one I have seen recently is The Strangers.

I think I just wet myself

It blended everything so perfectly. I looked over my shoulder for a solid week after seeing it. That is a good horror film. The Purge comes close but lacks the real danger you feel with The Strangers.

The Purge opens at some point in the near future (2022 I think). Crime is at an all time low, poverty is on the decline, and Americans are seemingly happy. The reason behind this time of peace and prosperity is the annual Purge. A few years prior to the events in the film, the "New Founding Fathers" ordinated that every year, for twelve hours, all emergency services will be suspended. In those twelve hours, anything goes. People are given carte blanche to murder and pillage as they see fit. The reasoning behind the Purge is simple, if you allow everyone to release all their anger and hatred on one day, free of repercussions, then they will be much happier throughout the rest of the year. James Sandin (Ethan Hawke) is a very successful home security salesman. When the film starts, we learn that his team was number on in his district in upgraded security systems. This accomplishment is to be awarded with a large monetary bonus. As James drives through his gated community, we see large, lavish homes. Neighbors out walking their dogs, mowing their lawns, and preparing for the Purge. Through a conversation between James' wife, Mary (Lena Headley), and a neighbor we sense there is an uneasiness between everyone. Nobody quite knows what the others are planning to do with their evening. The neighbor mentions that the new addition the Sandins have built compliments their home nicely, and then makes a remark about how they all helped build it because they bought their security systems from James. The neighbors usually hold a large party during the Purge, but they decide against it this year. As the family sits down to dinner, we are introduced to the two Sandin children: Charlie (Max Burkholder) and Zoey (Adelaide Kane). Charlie is young and curious as to why his parents don't Purge. James tells him because they don't feel the need, but they would if they did. We get a true sense of Mary's disagreement with the Purge when she shifts her eyes quickly to him as he says this. Mary wants no part of the Purge, but it is a way of life. Zoey is a horror movie teenager dressed in a school girl outfit the whole movie. Her boyfriend is older than her by several years, but he claims to "love" her (they actually growl at each other to show affection...). Minutes before the beginning of the Purge, the Sandins gather in their house's command center to activate their security system. After a brief explanation of what the Purge is and a siren signaling the commencement, everything goes back to normal. A while later we see that there is a man trying to escape a group of people out to murder him. Charlie sees the man on the security camera monitors and decides to help him. He deactivates the system, allowing the man to enter their home. He quickly disappears in the confusion and tension begins to build in the household. Shortly after the disturbance, the group that was chasing him arrives at the Sandin's door. Their leader, Henry (Tony Oller) gives them an ultimatum: deliver our victim to us, or we will come in and kill you.

The Purge does a lot of things right. The premise, while pretty far fetched, is intriguing, however it's not the first time it has been used. The original Star Trek series had an episode where a civilization lived in banality except for during a twelve hour period where there were no rules. The underlying issue in The Purge is that the wealthy get wealthier and the poor get poorer. Case in point, James Sandin is a home security salesman. He is already rich, but he has become even richer due to his neighbors buying security systems from him. There is a sense of resentment in the community because they feel like they are not being treated fairly. The main targets for people out Purging are homeless or in extreme poverty. Henry pleads with James when he discovers his victim is taking sanctuary inside his house. He calls the man garbage and that it is his right to eradicate him so that the rest of the population can live without his burden. I would venture to say that there are some people today that wouldn't mind too much if Obama made the annual Purge a reality. What the Purge does right is it makes us question our morality; our humanity. What it does wrong is it employs horror movie tropes. People popping out of nowhere, there are a few trip and fall moments, and, as I stated above, the pretty teenager in a school girl outfit. In addition to these, we never really get a sense of danger because the villans are not shown all that often. Henry is a terrific movie villan, but his character is wasted due to lack of presence.

No BS

The Purge is a lot of fun. There are some tough moments to watch (security footage of brutal beatings and murder) but they are pretty isolated. All the actors do a great job in their roles (especially Oller). If you like horror movies then this decision will be easy for you, however if you want a smart thriller, wait for this one. The reliance on cliches and the lack of that feeling of danger makes the film feel a little light.

My Score: 6.5/10

After Earth

After Earth (2013)
Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 12%

Hello Film Fans!

It feels like it has been too long since my last entry! For that, I apologize. I have been incredibly busy with my day job, the website, and getting a new YouTube "experiment" off the ground. Essentially, I will be doing a "roundtable" discussion on varying topics. After Earth is going to the first of these videos, but I am still going to do a comprehensive review. Now, let's get to it.

I wouldn't call myself a Will Smith fan. Sure, I liked Fresh Prince, Men In Black, Independence Day, and Hitch but it wasn't because of Smith (well, with the exception of the Fresh Prince). I love Tommy Lee Jones, Jeff Goldblum, and Kevin James but they aren't why I saw those movies either. Their stories were appealing to me. A secret government organization that hunts down rogue aliens and uses memory erasing tech...how is that NOT awesome? The best part is we have no way of knowing if this story is based on true events. "That's ludicrous" you almost surely exclaimed right there and you probably followed it with something like, "there is no proof that aliens exist". My rebuttal to that is, how do you know? Your memory has probably been erased.

Look at this light for me please.

Anyway, I say all that because typically, I never see a film based on a singular actor/actress (unless it's Brad Pitt...not kidding).

Yeah...

When the trailers for After Earth came out, I was less than enthused to see it. I thought Smith looked ridiculous and I am tired of Post Apocalyptic films. Furthermore, the accents used in the film made would make former house slaves balk. What caught my eye was the huge number of people claiming that Smith's latest foray into cinema is actually an elaborate nod to Scientology. Read any of those links and prepare to cringe (maybe?). The correlations to Scientology is something I want to discuss in my roundtable so this entry will just be a typical review.

After Earth stars Will Smith as Cypher Raige (yep, that's his given name) and his son Jaden Smith as Kitai Raige (Cypher's son). According to the history detailed in the story, humans were forced to leave Earth a thousand years ago because of war and pollution. They settled on a planet called Nova Prime and things were peaceful for a while. However, after an indeterminate amount of time, "aliens" invaded and dropped these creatures called Ursas on the planet's surface. Ursas have no eyes but have instead been engineered to smell the pheromones given off by humans when they experience fear. This works to the Ursas advantage because they are disgustingly vile creatures.


The defense force for the Human colony (the Ranger Corp) develops a technique called ghosting which consists of suppressing fear, and thus making them invisible to the Ursas. Cypher is well known throughout the colony because of his unsurpassed ghosting ability, and his ability to train others to do so. Kitai is seen as excelling at all aspects of Ranger training however he cannot let go of his fear and cannot progress further in his training. In an effort to provide parenting solidarity, Cypher requests Kitai accompany him on his latest mission. On the way to their destination, a gravitational disturbance causes the ship they are traveling in to take sever damage from an asteroid belt. The crew determines that they must land if they are going to survive. The closest planet they can land on is Earth, but there is hesitation due to its reputation for harboring animals evolved to hunt and kill humans. Fearing the worst, they decide to try and land but the ship is torn apart in the entry into the atmosphere. The only two survivors are Kitai and Cypher but Cypher's legs are broken and he cannot walk. Kitai is then tasked to traverse the dangerous terrain to the tail section of the ship in order to activate a distress beacon. Cypher tells him that he will encounter terrible beasts and harsh weather on his one hundred kilometer trip.

Now, as I wrote that summary I started to get excited. That sounds like a pretty badass movie. It has all the elements of a great sci fi flick: space, aliens, danger, death. Let me squash those hopes; this movie is pretty damn awful. I don't even know where to begin...ok, let's start with Nova Prime (humanity's new home).



That is actually a picture of Tatooine from Star Wars but Nova Prime looks almost exactly the same. Smith, who penned this story by himself, couldn't put humanity on something CLOSE to Earth? The scenes on Nova Prime are completely devoid of greenery or real bodies of water. Humans are mostly comprised of water and probably really tasty meat (I'm not a cannibal so I don't know), so it would behoove one to find a planet that has some water on it. Smith bucked that nonsense and put humanity in the middle of a damned desert. Secondly, let's talk about these Ursas. I won't comment on the CGI because I thought it was pretty good. Any time you can make me believe that there is a huge beast on the screen when there really isn't is ok in my book. No, I want to talk about how freaking impractical they are. They were engineered by "aliens" to hunt humans. There is never any explanation about who the aliens are. They are mentioned once as the Ursas inventors and then completely forgotten about. As I said above, the Ursas were bred to smell human fear pheromone but they have no eyes. Why? Why would you create a creature that can't see ANYTHING? Are these things constantly running into walls and living room furniture? There is no indication that they have a "Daredevil" sense so how do they get around? Why wouldn't you give them the ability to smell fear AND see? It just seems like a ridiculous plot device. Also, Cypher tells Kitai that the creatures on Earth have evolved to hunt and kill humans. Why? Humans haven't been on the planet in over a thousand years. Why do these animals need the ability to hunt creatures that they never encounter? Also, how did they evolve to do this? Animals get better at something through practice. There have not been humans to practice hunting in several generations. All of these plot holes make for a very weak story. The one upside? There is a fight scene that is pretty great.

No BS

After Earth just isn't worth seeing. It could be exciting for children because of the sci fi aspect, but honestly, that is all lost because of the philosophical doctrine being shilled throughout the whole film (forget past and future; root yourself in the present). Perhaps, if you really love Will Smith, then wait for RedBox...or Netflix streaming...or HBO...or edited on TBS.

My Score: 3/10 (That fight scene is pretty sweet)

P.S.
Thanks for reading this before Scientology gets it removed from existence.

The Hangover Part 3

The Hangover Part 3 (2013)
Directed by: Todd Phillips
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 21%

Hello Film Fans! This past Friday, an "epic" story, three films in the making, came to an end. Todd Phillips' Hangover trilogy is a favorite of Natty Ice swilling frat bros and mocha chai latte sipping office workers across America...well, the first installment at least. I have always had a sordid past with The Hangover franchise. When the first one came out in 2009, all of my friends saw it in the theater and told me about how hilarious it was. I, in recent years, have taken a stand against seeing comedies in the theater (especially if I have to pay a ludicrous amount of money to do so). The reasoning is this, the film will be just as funny if I RedBox it for $1 compared to seeing it for $11.50 with two hundred other people. The argument can be made that movies are funnier when other people are laughing with you. I think that may be true on a mental level but it doesn't actually make the film any funnier. It's like putting a laugh track into a show/movie that isn't really all that funny. No, when everyone was fawning over The Hangover, I was too busy laughing hysterically at the immortal I Love You, Man.

I often say "latas on the manjay"





Fact: I Love You, Man is one of the funniest films ever conceived and is Paul Rudd's greatest role (I would say Jason Segel too but Marshall Eriksen). Anyway, I have veered off topic...where was I? Right, The Hangover. I eventually saw The Hangover and chuckled throughout. I won't try to be a douche and say it wasn't funny. Zach Galifianakis was the best part of the entire film (trilogy), but he just isn't enough to carry the whole brand to greatness. The Hangover grossed $467+ million dollars in the box office. It was a critical success with a certified fresh rating at 79%. Then we move on to the 2011 sequel which earned $580+ million dollars at the box office. This is likely due to the excitement of the same characters getting into crazier situations. It is also likely that The Hangover gained an even wider fanbase once it hit retail markets. The critical reviews of the film put it at a 35% rating on Rotten Tomatoes because the plot was recycled. Nothing new was brought to the table. The franchise should have died there, but it didn't. Phillips tried to squeeze the last bit of soul out of the story with the third installment. At the time of this writing, Wikipedia reports that The Hangover 3 has made an estimated $81,251,829 which is about $20 million short of its budget. The critical response is even more underwhelming than its predecessor, and it is on track to just barely be considered a success. I honestly believe that The Hangover should have been one film and everyone would have been much happier.

The Hangover 3 brings us back to the familiar characters of Doug (the always absent from the plot Justin Bartha), Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms), and the lovable man-child Alan (Zach Galifianakis). Alan has started acting more aloof than usual and begins to act out when his father (Jeffrey Tambor) dies of a heart attack. The family decides that an intervention is the best thing for Alan, and they request that Phil, Doug, and Stu take him to a rehab center. On route to Arizona, where the clinic is located, the group is forced off the road by men in pig masks. They blindfold the guys, throw them in a moving van, and take them to the desert. They are taken out of the van and we are introduced to a new character, Marshall (John Goodman). This is actually not the first time we have heard of Marshall. A flashback is shown of the first film where Black Doug, (Mike Epps) expresses concern that Marshall will kill him if he discovers that he sold the wrong drugs to Alan. Marshall informs that guys that he has been swindled by Leslie Chow (Ken Jeong). Chow has stolen $21 million in gold bars from him and because Alan still maintains contact with him, they are to lure him out of hiding so they can retrieve the gold. As collateral, Marshall decides to keep Doug with him (effectively removing Bartha from the rest of the film, per usual). Phil, Stu, and Alan then go on an increasingly bizarre road trip to find their old friend so that they can get Doug back alive.

I am not going to say that The Hangover 3 was devoid of comedy; it wasn't. My problem with it is it just felt trite and forced. Alan did ridiculous things because that is his character, and those moments were funny. However, it seems that none of the characters have developed at all. This is the firs time that Phillips has had multiple films to explore his character's personalities and developments, but he just lets it fall flat. I wasn't expecting some great character driven farce, but it would have been nice to know that Phil isn't still some self righteous jerkoff and that Stu has finally grown a spine. There really are no defining moments in the film that lend itself to an in depth discussion on technique so...

No BS

Don't see Hangover 3 in the theater. It isn't worth it. I was fortunate enough to see it for $6 so my wallet didn't feel the sting nearly as bad as could have. Wait for it to hit RedBox or Netflix and enjoy it with a group of friends (chug some alcohol for the full effect). With a weak story, jokes that fall flat, and characters that have become uninteresting it just isn't worth the time or money.

My Score: 6/10

Does Someone Have to Go?

Hello Film Fans!

This post is going to be a bit different. Today, I don't wish to discuss a film, but rather a TV show. Well, not even a "show" so much as an "experiment". As I was driving to my girlfriend's house this evening for dinner I was listening to the radio. There was an ad for a show premiering this evening and it sounded... intriguing. I was listening intently for the show title but all I could come up with was someone saying "I am going to get chopped". When I got to her house I told her what I had heard and that I wanted to watch it. I'm usually not one for train wreck type shows but this one had grabbed my attention. The concept was this: what happens when the bosses at your job give over complete control to their employees? When the salary of every worker is revealed, who will feel cheated? Who will feel undervalued? Who will be perceived as overpaid? These are questions that nobody ever really wants to answer but they sit in our heads. There has to be someone in your office that just doesn't seem to do much yet always gets the breaks. That is what this show went to fix. After some digging I found out the show is called "Does Someone Have to Go".

The show starts off by introducing the company that is going through the experiment, Velocity Merchant Services. VMS is a company that specializes in providing businesses with credit card readers and other business necessities. The office consists of seventy employees, but only a handful are focused on in the show. The company is headed by a husband and wife team and is staffed with family members, and a motley crue of employees. Present are the typical office tropes: the slacker, the @$$hole, the old timer, the IT guy, the underpaid hard worker, and the generally liked nice guy. The first item of "business" after the two main bosses leave is revealing how everyone feels about their coworkers. This is done via talking head type confessionals (think The Office...now I am sad). The rub of this situation is that, when the people were being interviewed, they didn't know their responses would be shared. This is a GREAT way to stir animosity within the work place. After everyone is informed of how everyone REALLY thinks, the bickering and cattiness begins. Accusations about work ethic are tossed around, hints at nepotism run rampant, it's complete chaos. They are then told that they must select three people that the company could get along without. So people's actual lives are put in the hands of vindictive, manipulative people. Perfect. The second order of "business" is the revealing of everyone's salaries. Yeah, this is a wonderful thing to do in an office environment. As if there isn't enough resentment circulating at the moment. This, obviously, creates even more tension and solidifies the three choices for some of the workers. At the end of the episode, everyone votes on who they feel should be let go. The top three selections go to: the Collections Officer that BARELY completes the minimal amount of work bestowed upon him, the Old Timer Salesman that is making the least in the office because he can never actually close a sale, and the mother of the owner of the company that serves as the redundant accountant to the already redundant accountant (she, along with two other firms, does the books for the company). When the episode ends, we see the owners of the business come back to the results and they are shocked. Furthermore, those that have been selected must put together a presentation detailing why they should stay in their position. This will all be covered in the second episode next week.

Wow. That's really all I can say, and it may not be for the reason you're thinking. Sure, this is a pretty vile thing to do to a company. This experiment will completely derail any morale that existed in the workplace. Nobody will trust each other, and the bosses will be despised. That is, if this whole thing is actually real. Everyone seems too nonchalant about what is occurring in their office. I know that if I found out that my job was on the line because of a jealous, self righteous imbecile felt that I was too good at what I did, I would be seeking legal council. I have a feeling that those involved have been informed about what is going on and are being compensated. As I stated above, VMS claims to employee seventy people yet this show focuses on less than a dozen. Where are the other workers? Perhaps they didn't want to participate, perhaps they were really bad actors, or perhaps they just weren't that interesting. Whatever the case may be, it feels a little staged (but reality TV is always REAL). Now, on the other hand, this raises a lot of valid workplace issues. The girl's mother that serves as an accountant makes over seventy thousand a year. She is in the office part time and she is doing a redundant job of an already redundant job. To put this into perspective, the average salary for a corporate accountant is around $64,000 a year. This woman makes seven thousand dollars more a year working part time than a full time accountant. That's absurd. The Old Timer salesman is draining the company of $25,000 a year without returning the investment via sales. He is essentially taking up space. Sure, we feel sad that he may be fired because he is old, but he isn't contributing so something has to give. The guy Collections officer doesn't do his work, plain and simple. Why keep these people on board? Perhaps you feel differently than me, perhaps you feel that Fox is way off base with this new concept. Let me know your thoughts.

Star Trek Into Darkness

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
Directed by: J.J. (The Man) Abrams
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 87%

When I was a wee lad, I was first introduced to a Sci Fi franchise that would change my life forever. Never had I seen anything like it. The ships, the technology, the alien races, and the sexy costumes. After I was introduced to this franchise, I would compare everything else to it. That franchise is, of course, Star Wars.

I think that Zoe Saldana might be sexier than Carrie Fisher though...

Tough call...

Now that I have a healthy rage going with some of you I will explain why I have fallen in love with Star Trek, and why I think that Abrams' involvement with the next Star Wars films will bring nothing but incredibleness to a troubled franchise.

First things first, there has been a huge spoiler on line for quite some time now. I will advise you to redirect and come back to this review if you haven't seen the spoiler already. It's ok, I'll wait...ok? For those of you still with me, you already know that the secret surrounding Benedict Cumberbatch's character John Harrison has been a huge controversy. It was assumed that he would be playing everyone's favorite genetically modified super human, Khan Noonien Singh. However, these rumors were dispelled by Abrams, Simon Pegg (Scotty), Chris Pine (Kirk), and even Cumberbatch himself. It was finally revealed a few weeks ago that the villan in Star Trek Into Darkness is, indeed, Khan... Having chosen my nerd side at a young age when I picked Star Wars over Star Trek, I had never seen any of the shows or old movies. My head is full of Star Wars facts while the easiest bit of trivia about Star Trek escapes me. It wasn't until Abrams' reboot that I actually decided that I was able to spread my love equally between the franchises. I still haven't seen any of the movies or watched the shows, but I can appreciate them now at least. I say all this because the fact that Khan was being brought back into the franchise was a big problem for a lot of Trekkies. They geeked hard about the implications it would have for the franchise. I, personally, didn't care. I was just excited to get back to the Enterprise.

Into Darkness opens with Kirk and McCoy (Karl Urban) fleeing from a primitive people on a planet they are exploring. As the two dodge spears in a pink forest, we see Spock (Zachary Quinto) descend into a volcano in an effort to quell an inevitable eruption which would decimate the population in the area. As Spock is being lowered into the mouth of the volcano, the cable he is attached to snaps and he is dropped onto a small patch of solid rock. Sulu (John Cho), realizing he has no choice but to leave Spock there due to the extreme heat, retreats back to the Enterprise with Uhura (Zoe Saldana). With everyone back on board except Spock, Kirk orders that Scotty beam him back to the ship. He tells him that they can't do it from the distance they are at and that they'd need to have a line of sight in order to get him aboard. Spock accepts his fate and detonates the frost bomb in the volcano. As the timer ticks away, Kirk decides to risk his ship and crew to rescue him. Spock is beamed aboard at the last second and everyone rejoices. We move ahead a few days and learn that Spock has filed a mission report that contradicts Kirk's personal report. Due to the violation of the Prime Directive, which is that Starfleet will have no direct influence over a civilization's advancement, Kirk is relegated back to Starfleet Academy and the Enterprise is given back to Captain Pike. Meanwhile, our villan entices a father struggling with a terminally ill child with a cure. Khan gives a vial of his blood to the father in exchange for a service. We see the father insert the tube into his daughter's IV, he kisses her on the head, and then he heads to work at the Starfleet Archives. He logs into his station, drops a ring into a glass of water, and then is promptly obliterated in a gigantic explosion. The explosion sends Starfleet into a panic and they gather all of their captains for a meeting. Captain Pike was able to convince the Starfleet to allow him to take Kirk on as his first officer, so he attends the meeting as well. They end up getting attacked by Khan during the meeting which causes Kirk to request permission to hunt down Khan and kill him. Permission is granted after some hesitation and the plot begins. There are a ton of surprises in the movie and some key races are introduced (Klingons).

This movie is fantastic. It is a damn near perfect sci fi film. The effects are literally out of this world, the dialogue is cheeky but clever, and the plot is incredibly interesting. We also get to see Kirk transform into a admirable Captain and Spock relinquish some of his Vulcan tendencies in favor of more human sensibilities. I could watch Star Trek and its sequel several times and be completely in awe each time. I cannot say the same for Star Wars anymore. Perhaps it is because the effects are so dated although the prequels were not done that long ago. I think it boils down to writing and direction. It was joked about that the lens flare was like another character in the first film. What you may not know is that all of that flare was done during production. It was not added later. Abrams had mirrors and beams directed at the camera in certain shots. This added to the sterile feeling of the Enterprise. A place that is "...disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence..." can appear incredibly clean and safe because of light reflection. The reason I never cared for Star Trek in the past is because it was all so very boring to me. I felt that every time I saw a clip or heard someone discussing it, they were spewing some technical jargon that made no sense to me. I didn't feel like dedicating the time and effort it would take to understand them so I just tuned it out. Star Wars wasn't like that. Everything was governed by an unseen "Force", and there were those that believed in it and those that didn't. It was a classic good vs. evil story and there were bitchin' lightsaber fights. Where I grew up, you were cool if you liked Star Wars, and a complete dork if you liked Star Trek. Abrams was able to bring everyone into the fold with his reboot. I cannot remember that last film I watched in the theater where I got so giddy at the tech that I wanted to bounce in my seat. When they first punch it into warp, my jaw dropped to the floor. The way the ship stretched out right before it blinked out of space was phenomenal. All of what made Star Trek so great is back in force in the sequel. Now, as for Abrams' involvement with Star Wars; I believe that he is going to bring the franchise back to relevance. Star Wars used to be a trustworthy powerhouse of a franchise, but it has slipped into obscurity in the past several years. I grew up raving about Luke Skywalker, Chewbacca, Han Solo, and Yoda. Today, kids long to be Iron Man, Batman, and Captain America. I don't find a problem with this; it's just different. Abrams will inject his flair (or flare) and turn it into something that Star Wars fans can gladly claim. I fully expect the new episodes to be darker in nature and have more developed characters. What this will mean is a resurgence of the brand as a whole; a renewed sense of pride in a product that captivated the entire world in 1977.

No BS

See Star Trek Into Darkness. There is no other way to say it. It is fun, intense, and a visual spectacle. You don't need to be a Trekkie to appreciate it (I'm not). I paid the extra money to see it in IMAX 3D and don't regret it at all. See this film.

My Score: 9.5/10

The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby (2013)
Direct by: Baz Luhrmann
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 48%

F. Scott Fitzgerald is credited with writing a "Great American Novel" with The Great Gatsby. First published in 1925, Gatsby has been read by millions of people all over the world. I am one of those millions. I am not one of the millions by choice however. No, I was forced to read the novel in my Freshman Lit class in high school. I wasn't and still aren't a big reader. I am a more visual person so I enjoy seeing the images (hence why I am a film reviewer). I had to get a Spark Notes guide to make it through Gatsby, and I barely made it. Now that I am older I am sure I could read and enjoy The Great Gatsby, but why do that when I can see Baz Luhrmann's film adaptation? I wanted to see Gatsby after the first trailer I saw last year. Not because I have fond memories of the book (I think I made it clear that I didn't want to read it), but because I am a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio (and Carey Mulligan). As the release date grew closer, I became more excited. That excitement waned when the first reviews started coming out. Joe Morgenstern of the Wall Street Journal states that it is "...a spectacle in search of a soul" and The Chicago Reader essentially calls the film an adaption of Animal House in the 1920s. I cannot say I agree.

The Great Gatsby begins with Nick Carroway (Tobey Maguire) speaking with his therapist in a sanitarium. It is revealed that he suffers from depression and is "morbidly alcoholic". He speaks about how he hates New York City now and everyone in it, but there is one person he could never hate; Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio). His therapist insists that he write down his experiences as a type of catharsis. Nick is hesitant at first but easily settles into his groove as both biographer to Gatsby and autobiographer to himself. Nick begins his story with his arrival in New York City after he takes a job with a bond company. He rents a small cottage in the village of West Egg which is where all the "New Money" lives. Nick often sees his mysterious neighbor standing at the end of his dock reach out towards the green light at the other end of the bay. Directly across the bay is East Egg; home to "Old Money" and Nick's cousin Daisy (Carey Mulligan) along with her husband Tom (Joel Edgerton). Nick's neighbor is revealed to by Jay Gatsby, a big shot millionaire from mysterious origins. Nick and Gatsby become fast friends and Nick begins to change the way he lives. Never been much for alcohol, Nick starts to drink daily and often drinks to excess. Eventually, one of Nick's friends, Jordan Baker (Elizabeth Debicki), tells him that Gatsby knew Daisy previously. They had an affair five years prior and everything he has done in those five years has been in an effort to be with her. Nick arranges for the them to have tea one afternoon and that's when the drama starts.

**OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING...BUT THIS STORY HAS BEEN OUT SINCE THE 1920s SO...**

The Great Gatsby was a lot of fun to watch. I am positive that it will AT LEAST be nominated for costume and art Oscars. I didn't see it in 3D but I can imagine that it would have been an experience. I'd like to dispel the criticisms from the reviews quoted above. While Gatsby absolutely is a film of spectacle and excess it is not devoid of soul. DiCaprio brings the same passion to this role that he does with everything he's ever done. DiCaprio is one of the very few stars in Hollywood that really hasn't done a terrible film. Seriously, check out his filmography. The dude is a talented beast and he only gets better with age. Gatsby's passion and love for Daisy is palpable. He aches every moment he isn't with her. Imagine yourself at your hungriest; your stomach in knots and head throbbing. I imagine that is every minute of Gatsby's life without Daisy. The scene when Gatsby meets Daisy for the first time in five years is absolutely fantastic. Nick and Gatsby arrange for the tea time to be at Nick's cottage as to not arouse suspicion in Daisy. Gatsby has gardeners come out and lay sod, install a fountain, and deliver flowers...

Lots and lots of flowers...

Some may say too many flowers


The over saturation of floral arrangements is another nod towards Gatsby's desire for everything to be perfect. When he met Daisy five years earlier, he had no money to his name; he was penniless. Daisy, who is now married to an exorbitantly wealthy man, is accustomed to lavish scenery and Gatsby knows this. The flowers are a way of peacocking in a sense. While Nick and Gatsby wait for Daisy's arrival, Gatsby grows increasingly anxious and threatens to leave if she doesn't show up promptly. When Daisy's vehicle sputters down the road in front of Nick's home, Gatsby freezes and fidgets with his coat. Nick goes out to meet her and walks her inside. When she sees the flowers she is immediately giddy at the sight however Gatsby is nowhere to be found. He had slipped out the back door in fear of disappointing Daisy. Nick hears a knock and opens the door to a dripping wet Gatsby (it had been raining profusely). The moment that Gatsby and Daisy lock eyes is intense. There is instant recognition and it is as if no time has passed. The emotion in this scene alone is enough to negate the naysayer above.

Now, to speak to the idea that The Great Gatsby is one big frat party...they are absolutely right, however is this a bad thing? The twenties weren't called "The Roaring Twenties" for nothing. It was a time of excess and flamboyance. Luhrmann captures the feeling of the era perfectly. The parties are impossibly glamorous. The people are polished and perfect for the time. I think that everything Luhrmann did in the film aided towards to overall feel of the story. You feel like you are transported to a time when the booze flowed freely and the people were just as fluid. It is truly remarkable.

No BS

The Great Gatsby is a lot of fun and is a fantastic story. If you've read the book, I feel you can find a kindred spirit with the film. You get the same feelings that Fitzgerald relayed through his text. If you're a stickler for historical accuracy and anachronisms then you may find yourself at a loss. Modern hip hop music is used in the soundtrack and score to keep things upbeat but, I feel, it doesn't detract from the story overall.

My Score: 7.5/10

The Office Is Coming to An End

I love television almost as much as I love film. I feel that a complex story with large casts can be told better through the medium rather than one long two and a half hour film. You can use entire episodes to delve into the lives of one of your main characters. You can twist your story arch to match current events. It just works for elaborate plots. However, it is not without its pitfalls. The worst thing a TV show can do is out stay its welcome. What ends up happening is a show that was once loved by all turns into a train wreck that everybody collectively hates. I'm sure you've heard the term "jump the shark" before. Do you know where it comes from? Happy Days. Yes, the show that introduced the world to "The Fonz" also introduced the world to what it was like when a tremendously successful show simply sticks around too long. Like the last person at a party. You're tired and ready to hit the hay, but Chatty Cathy insists on telling you all about whatever the Hell is going on in her life at the moment. The term comes from the season premiere of the fifth season of the show. The show runners decided that rather than continue to make a program that people had grown to love, one that told relavent stories with a 1950s backdrop, they try and turn everything upside down. They had Henry Winkler dress in swim trunks and a leather jacket and filmed him (at least I hope it was really him...because that'd be awesome) literally jumping a shark in a tank on waterskis. This phrase became commonplace for anyone or anything that tried so desperately to be relavent that they ended up completely destroying any credibility they once had. The Office got that way for a lot of people. While I cannot pinpoint an actual "jumping the shark" moment, I believe many think that the show should have ended with Steve Carell leaving. I would have agreed with this statement a few months ago, however this past season has been one of the best in recent memory. Even though it seemed like the writers were trying to break up Pam and Jim (one of the best TV couples of all time. This is not debatable.) they redeemed themselves this past episode. What I'd like to do is give a BRIEF recap of where we are at in the show and what I think the finale will have in store. Please share your thoughts and opinions below!!

It's been a few years since Michael Scott has left. Robert California (James Spader) came in and took over the managerial duties for a season.

He was incredible.




Without James Spader, I would've stopped watching. I hated the character Gabe. I didn't like the direction the show went when they were bought by Sabre. Most of all, I really didn't enjoy the extreme character behavior modifications. Kevin (who has always been a little slow) has been turned into a barely functioning adult. It is surprising that he is able to do simple math, because of how moronic they have made him. This applies to Andy (Ed Helms) as well. Andy has always been a quirky nice guy with a short fuse, but recently he has become an unstable dolt. A similar situation occurred on one of my favorite shows growing up, Boy Meets World. Eric Matthews (Will Friedle) was the older brother to Cory (Ben Savage). He usually had good advice and was as supportive as any other big brother would be. However, as the seasons went on, Eric's intellect dropped off the table. It was as if he spent his entire high school career huffing glue and slamming his head into the wall. Every now and then we would see glimpses of a truly intelligent person peeking through the idiot's eyes, but he was quickly scared off by the nonsensical ramblings being spewed at him by the imbecilic dominant portion of his being. What Spader brought to the show was order. He was whimsical but also sincere. It was like having the antithesis of Michael and it worked. When Spader left, Andy took over and things were still pretty good. However, the show really started falling apart when Andy discovers that his family has gone bankrupt. He goes through a crisis and leaves the office to sell his family's boat. Jim takes a part time job with a start up athlete representation company in Philadelphia that some friends started. Darryl decides to go with him and things begin to turn for Jim. The separation from his family begins to weigh on Pam and Jim's relationship and they start to resent each other. For a few episodes it seemed that Pam was going to have an affair with the boom mic operator (I swear I think his name was Mike) but that was nixed when people lost their sh*t. David Wallace (who now owns Dunder Mifflin) ends up firing Andy and places Dwight in charge of the branch. Dwight assigns Jim as his Assistant to the Regional Manager and the old antics arise again. In a lot of ways the final episodes of the show have gone back to what made me fall in love with it in the first place. Great characters, funny dialogue, and classic Jim pranks.

In the episode that just aired, Dwight confesses his love for Angela and he proposes to her. She accepts and they FINALLY end up together. Jim is back at the branch full time and he begins to rebuild his marriage with Pam. Andy embarked on a journey to become an actor/singer but ends up failing miserably. We also learn that the documentary that has been filming for the past ten years is set to air. The episode ends with all of the current staff (and Andy) watching the premiere at a local pub.

The series finale is set to air on May 16 from 9-10:15 and I am stoked. The trailer for the episode reveals a lot about what we can expect.


It's six months after the documentary premiere and every is gathering for Dwight and Angela's wedding. It appears that it is taking place on Schrute Farm so surely Mose and cousin Zeke will make appearances. I think that Andy may have found success as an actor after the airing of the documentary. Darryl has gone on to sign numerous famous athletes for AthLead and is now "Oprah Rich". It appears that Kelly and Ryan have a child but there is another man of Indian decent with them. Three way relationship? I wouldn't be surprised. Phyllis is giving Angela away because she has always been the matriarch of the office. It seems that it is an old Schrute custom for the bride to be to ride the mother down the aisle like a donkey. I would like to be a Schrute. Dwight's bachelor party is sure to be epic because of his complete lack of social skills. I hope that Michael will come back as Dwight's best man, but I feel that that duty will be reserved for Jim. Perhaps by the time that the wedding rolls around, Toby and Nellie will have finally gotten together. Erin and Pete will still be together and I think that Clark will show up to the wedding with Jan Levenson. Stanley will be getting a divorce because his unfaithfulness will be known to his wife due to the airing of his confessional tapings. He will show up with a young date. Creed will be Creed. I want Meredith and Creed to be each other's dates. I think they deserve each other. Bob Vance from Vance Refrigeration will be there with Phyllis and perhaps he has donated something for the wedding. Oscar and the Senator will be there because no hard feelings, right? I would really like to see Karen and all the other short lived characters come back but I doubt it will happen.

The Office Series Finale will be an epic ending to a show that will be talked about for years to come. The three time Emmy winning show has been the source of many watercooler conversations and has given the culture a punchline that never gets old (when used properly). I am sure that I will need a tissue or nine while I watch the episode, and there will be hole in my heart shaped like a Dwight Schrute bobblehead. I am going to miss the show, but I am excited to see where everyone ends up now that they can test other avenues in their careers.

What do YOU think will happen? What is your favorite Office moment? Share down below!

Synecdoche, New York

Synecdoche, New York (2008)
Directed by: Charlie Kaufman
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 67%

So, being a student and fan of cinema, I try and vary what films I choose to watch. Sure, I have my genres, directors, actors, and producers that I like, but I never want to limit myself as far as experiences. This has led me to some really spectacular films, but also to some ones that I wish I could forget. Several years ago, I heard about Synecdoche, New York and was intrigued but I never got around to watching it until this afternoon. I will do my very best to keep this review and analysis concise. I say that because this film is incredibly dense, and, to its detriment, you an really feel it.

Caden Cotard (Philip Seymour Hoffman) is directing a stage adaptation of Arthur Miller's Death of A Salesman. The stress of the work begins taking a toll on his health and his marriage. Adele (Catherine Keener) grows tired of Caden's lack of attention and decides to move to Berlin with their four year old daughter, Olive (Sadie Goldstein). Caden begins to experience strange physical ailments that hinder his everyday life. His face begins to break out with sycosis (inflammation of hair follicles), he is concussed when the water faucet knob shoots off and hits him in the forehead, his teeth begin to rot which leads to the need for gum surgery, and he loses the ability to produce saliva and tears. Despite these ailments, Caden goes on to gain recognition from the MacArthur Fellows Program which grants him a sizable sum of money so that he can pursue an original theatrical idea. Caden purchases a monstrous theater space in the heart of the Arts District in New York and uses it to assemble a life sized replica of the city in which it sits. He then casts actors to fill the roles of the people in Caden's life (which eventually includes himself). The film follows Caden's life work for twenty plus years and we see how he slowly withers away to nothing.

I don't know how I feel about this movie right now. I want to say I just didn't like it. It was long and it felt long, it was overly complex, the characters began to muddle in the background because of all the names being switched around, and it was deeply depressing. That's why I want to say I didn't like it...but I can't simply say that because it was so well done. The beginning of the film feels very different from the end. The start is filled with non sequiturs and bizarre dialog. For instance, there is a scene in which Adele and Caden are receiving couple's counseling. Their therapist, Madeline (Hope Davis), begins to pry into their destroyed marriage. Adele says "can I say something terrible?" to which Madeline replies "yes, please do". She says this with an unsettling eagerness. Adele reveals how she dreams of Caden dying which would allow her to start over again; guilt free. Madeline asks Caden if that feels terrible. Caden, genuinely taken back, says yes. Madeline responds with a happy "ok, good". When Caden begins to experience his many sicknesses, he sees a revolving cast of doctors; each one recommending another doctor and each one enjoying Caden's misery. This made me think that I was watching a Black Comedy which would have been fine with me. However, Synecdoche, New York is a definite drama. It's the kind of drama that will make you feel sad and empty (Requiem for A Dream) if you let it. In addition to the heavy feels, there are some complex motifs at play within the text of the film. Now, I will say that I had to research things a tad, because I wanted to make sure I was getting things right.

First, let's start with the name Synecdoche. When I first heard about this film I thought it was about Schenectady, New York. It's not. Well it takes place there but it's not about the actual city... Synecdoche is a figure of speech that is used when someone describes a whole entity or item by referring to a singular part of said entity or item. For example, somebody calling their car, "wheels", or saying "paper or plastic" when referring to bag types. The synecdoche occurring within the film is referring to the events that take place on stage substituting real life. The play becomes synonymous with Caden's life and are, thus, one and the same. Another interesting motif within the text is the use of the names Cotard and Capgras. The Cotard Delusion refers to the notion that one feels their body is in a constant state of decay. Caden's body is continually breaking down throughout the course of the film. His hair begins to thin and his skin starts to hang off his body. He also exhibits behaviors that can be related to a hypochondriac. It is hinted at that Caden may, in fact, already be dead, or dying, and what is taking place are his last thoughts. The other name, Capgras, refers to the Capgras Delusion. This is a familiar trope with conspiracy theorists. It states that the loved ones of a singular person are being replaced by look-alikes. These impostors are tasked with keeping tabs and spying on their target. The act of casting real people with other real people for the play is a perfect example of this. Perhaps the most fascinating aspect of Synecdoche, New York is its play on size and scale. As I mentioned above, Caden is building a replica of New York City within a huge warehouse. This replica is life-sized and should not fit inside this warehouse; but it does. Conversely, Adele becomes wildly successful in Berlin because of her highly detailed miniature paintings. We see Caden visit one of her exhibits. Everyone touring the space is wearing lighted magnifying glasses so they can see the paintings that are hung on the walls. Without the glasses, the paintings look like small dark boxes, but once you look through the lens you see how remarkable they truly are. The contrast between Caden's obsession with the hugeness of his sets and Adele's preference for minutia represent the forces that drove them apart.

No BS

Would I recommend Synecdoche, New York? If you are not a film person...no. Check out Being John Malkovich, or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Neither of those are directed by Kaufman (Synecdoche, New York is his only directing credit to date) but they were written by him and they are both fantastic. I think Synecdoche, New York is a great film to watch and study for film classes. It is such a dense text and I feel that professors could kill many birds with one two hour stone by showing it in class. Plus, towards the end of the film, Hoffman begins to look like Andy from Little Britain...




My Score: 6.5/10

Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 (2013)
Directed by: Shane Black
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 78%

Hey, did you know that Iron Man 3 was released last Thursday? You didn't? Where were you, busy writing the Batman/Aquaman fan fiction novella you are planning to unleash on the planet? What I am getting at here is that the Iron Man franchise is a huge deal for both comic book nerds as well as film enthusiasts. The first Iron Man film (masterfully directed by the fantastic Jon Favreau [not the speechwriter]) was such a fun experience and that fun has only been recaptured by Nolan's Batman films (so far). Iron Man 2 was not as good as the first and let's not get into the Green Lantern fiasco. Captain America was good and so was Thor but neither felt as natural and real as Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark/Iron Man. I feel he embodies the role so well because if there is anyone in Hollywood that could actually be Tony Stark, it's Robert Downey Jr. Iron Man 3 takes the beloved franchise and goes in a...different direction. It's not a bad direction it is just...

Iron Man 3 picks up after The Avengers (not sure how long after). Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) has settled down with Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) and is living an almost normal life. He is plagued with anxiety and stress after realizing that there are other beings among us; aliens; gods. He rarely sleeps because he plays his brush with death over and over in his mind. This stress eventually causes a rift between Pepper and himself. The villain of the film, The Mandarin (Sir Ben Kingsley), has been detonating bombs all over the country in an attempt to "educate" the current Presidential administration. When a reporter asks Tony about what he wants to do about the terrorist, Tony calls him out. He advertises his home address and invites The Mandarin to come fight like a man. His home is later attacked and Pepper is kidnapped. With Tony's home and workshop out of commission, he must recharge his latest prototype suit and make due with the bugs that come with it.

I am going to throw this warning out now...

**BIG HUGE SPOILERS LIE AHEAD!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!**

Ok, now that I have put that disclaimer out there, let's discuss this film. Iron Man 3, while not weak, is not a great film. One of the aspects of the Iron Man franchise that has always intrigued me is the casting. Almost everybody seems to fit their role perfectly and it really adds to the film. Robert Downey Jr. (not sure how to shorten his name...Downey? Downey Jr? RDJ?) brings Tony Stark to the screen as easily as ever before. His mannerisms are so natural that you forget he is playing a role. Paltrow as Pepper Potts is serviceable. I have never loved her portrayal of the character (or maybe I just don't like the character), but she gets the job done. Jon Favreau plays a larger role in this installment as Stark's head of security, and he is great. However, I think the person that stole the show (Robert Downey Jr. doesn't count) is Ben Kingsley. His portrayal as "The Mandarin" was fantastic. I was happy to see that he was able to stretch his comedic muscle in this film. Acting aside, I cannot decide whether I liked or disliked the story. What we have is Tony Stark essentially starting from scratch with a buggy prototype Iron Man suit after his entire workshop (and arsenal) are destroyed. At least that is what we think until he has Jarvis initiate something called "House Party" (or something equally as cheesy). With this, a vault opens at the rubble where Stark Mansion once stood, and out fly a dozen or so Iron Man suits. They all fly to his location as he fights the main villain. The Iron Man suit army takes on the biologically augmented army that Tony is fighting (without a suit). Why in the Hell didn't Tony initiate this reservoir of badassery until then? He dragged his Mark 42 armor through the snow when the battery became completely depleted. He had to break into a terrorist compound using items he MacGuyvered together that he bought at an Ace Hardware. He could have easily said "Hey Jarvis, I'm kinda screwed...can you send me a back up suit or nine?" I understand the reasoning from a plot standpoint. It would've been too easy if Tony had used his backups when the going go tough, but come on. I actually would have been better with an almost retelling of his origin. Have Tony slap together a POS Iron Man Mark 1 suit with stuff he cobbles together, and then fight the army at the end. That'd been a struggle. Also, let's discuss the baddies from the film. The theory behind what is going on is actually pretty awesome but the execution is a little lacking. First of all, the main bad guy henchman is Eric Savin (James Badge Dale) who is actually a member of S.H.I.E.L.D. in the comics. He is the precursor identity of Coldblood who is a cybernetic organism: living tissue over a metal endoskeleton ;). What they were trying to do here is beyond me. Sure, he isn't in the main stable of heroes but that's kind of like naming a henchman Barry Allen or Frank Castle. The last thing I will rant about is actually kind of a huge deal. In the end of the film, Tony decides to have the shrapnel removed from his body so that he can move on with his life. This also means that he is no longer in need of his electromagnetic "heart" that he has embedded in his chest. He has doctors remove the magnet and we see Tony chuck it into the ocean where his house once stood. He says that the Iron Man suit was a cocoon and that he is a changed man. What does this mean for the franchise? I always understood that the electromagnet that Tony possessed was what powered the suit, however Rhodey doesn't have one and he is War Machine/Iron Patriot. Not sure what it means but it felt wrong.

Iron Man 3 is a lot of fun and is better than its predecesor. While it feels hokey at times, it has a fantastic climactic battle that could only be in a superhero movie. It's really worth seeing the movie just to remind yourself why you love Robert Downey Jr. so much. Also, a scene very similar to this is in it.

My Score: 7.5/10

Oblivion

Oblivion (2013)
Directed by: Joseph Kosinski
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 56%

When I was a kid, I only knew two actors: Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. Why this is, I don't know. Perhaps it was because they were in movies that I loved when I was younger; Tom Cruise (Top Gun, Risky Business, Cocktail(?), Interview With the Vampire) and Brad Pitt (Cool World, Se7en, Twelve Monkeys, Interview With the Vampire). Regardless of the reason, I ended up choosing Brad as my celebrity guy crush; my Bronection (that is a portmanteau of Bro and Connection...). I feel I chose wisely because he has ended up having the more varied career (maybe) and also he isn't crazy. I share all of this with you so I can tell you that Oblivion is one of my favorite Tom Cruise movies...ever.

Check out the trailer for the film if you haven't already.

*drooool*

Tom Cruise is Jack Harper, a drone repair worker two weeks away from joining the rest of Earth's civilization on Saturn's moon, Titan. Sixty years before the start of the film, the Earth was attacked by an alien race the humans dubbed Scavengers (Scavs). There was an epic war fought between the two sides but the humans ultimately won, however the victory came at a price. They were forced to use the nuclear weapons in reserve in order to combat the Scavs. In the process, the Moon was destroyed which created immeasurable chaos on Earth. Earthquakes and tsunamis destroyed cities and countries. The remaining people either died on Earth or caught transport to Titan. The TET is a government installation located in space that is responsible for converting sea water into fusion energy for the population on Titan. Jack and his partner, Victoria (Andrea Riseborough), maintain the drones protecting these machines that dot the coast off of New York. Every morning, Jack wakes up, gets in his sweet future helicopter, and patrols the ground. Vica communicates with Sally, their TET contact, and relays any damage beacons or messages to Jack. One day, as Jack is searching for a lost drone, he is confronted by Scavs and is almost killed. Jack escapes and makes it back to his base camp but he begins to question what he knows about the Scavs. He believes that they weren't trying to kill him...but catch him. As Jack looks for answers, he discovers that not everything is so simple.

I was at a loss when I started thinking about what I wanted to write here. There is so much to this movie that I don't want to give away so I cannot really discuss the plot so I will say this...this is one of the most well done Sci-Fi movies I have ever seen. The story is set in 2077 so it's not THAT far into the future which is always a plus for me. When a movie (or game) is set in some ridiculous year like 2277 (Fallout 3), and they are still using things like books, glass bottles, or fossil fuel burning cars, I begin to question the timeline that the creators have set forth. 2277; that is more than 250 years from now. 250 years into the past was a COMPLETELY different world. We use almost nothing that those people thought were everyday items. If you are going to set your story in some ridiculously distant future, there better be tech I cannot imagine at this moment. Take for instance, Alien. Alien takes place in 2122 and they, for some reason, don't have access to good flashlights, or flares, or night vision goggles.

It's a good trailer though.

Now, I know that Alien was filmed in 1979 and the technology is...dated but you get what I am saying. Oblivion's tech was completely believable. The HUD on Jack's badass helo is something we either do have or could have right now. The computer system that Vica uses throughout the film looks like a Microsoft Table system. Even the weapons appear to be something that could be created within a few years. This all adds to the believability of the film for me. My mind didn't wander down some critical bunny trail during the film. I was enthralled in what I saw on the screen. This brings me to an interesting point; does CGI make films better? I know that on the surface the answer would almost certainly be yes, but consider how groundbreaking Alien was. It was a Sci-Fi Horror film that is absolutely terrifying. Would the movie be better if it were remade today with a bunch of computer animated monsters? I highly doubt it. What do you think??

No BS

Oblivion is a ton of fun. If you like Tom Cruise, action movies, or Sci-Fi then you cannot miss this one. I didn't see it in IMAX but I can imagine it would be intense so do that if possible. Also, don't worry...he TOTALLY runs in this movie.

You're welcome.

My Score: 8.5/10