After Earth

After Earth (2013)
Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 12%

Hello Film Fans!

It feels like it has been too long since my last entry! For that, I apologize. I have been incredibly busy with my day job, the website, and getting a new YouTube "experiment" off the ground. Essentially, I will be doing a "roundtable" discussion on varying topics. After Earth is going to the first of these videos, but I am still going to do a comprehensive review. Now, let's get to it.

I wouldn't call myself a Will Smith fan. Sure, I liked Fresh Prince, Men In Black, Independence Day, and Hitch but it wasn't because of Smith (well, with the exception of the Fresh Prince). I love Tommy Lee Jones, Jeff Goldblum, and Kevin James but they aren't why I saw those movies either. Their stories were appealing to me. A secret government organization that hunts down rogue aliens and uses memory erasing tech...how is that NOT awesome? The best part is we have no way of knowing if this story is based on true events. "That's ludicrous" you almost surely exclaimed right there and you probably followed it with something like, "there is no proof that aliens exist". My rebuttal to that is, how do you know? Your memory has probably been erased.

Look at this light for me please.

Anyway, I say all that because typically, I never see a film based on a singular actor/actress (unless it's Brad Pitt...not kidding).

Yeah...

When the trailers for After Earth came out, I was less than enthused to see it. I thought Smith looked ridiculous and I am tired of Post Apocalyptic films. Furthermore, the accents used in the film made would make former house slaves balk. What caught my eye was the huge number of people claiming that Smith's latest foray into cinema is actually an elaborate nod to Scientology. Read any of those links and prepare to cringe (maybe?). The correlations to Scientology is something I want to discuss in my roundtable so this entry will just be a typical review.

After Earth stars Will Smith as Cypher Raige (yep, that's his given name) and his son Jaden Smith as Kitai Raige (Cypher's son). According to the history detailed in the story, humans were forced to leave Earth a thousand years ago because of war and pollution. They settled on a planet called Nova Prime and things were peaceful for a while. However, after an indeterminate amount of time, "aliens" invaded and dropped these creatures called Ursas on the planet's surface. Ursas have no eyes but have instead been engineered to smell the pheromones given off by humans when they experience fear. This works to the Ursas advantage because they are disgustingly vile creatures.


The defense force for the Human colony (the Ranger Corp) develops a technique called ghosting which consists of suppressing fear, and thus making them invisible to the Ursas. Cypher is well known throughout the colony because of his unsurpassed ghosting ability, and his ability to train others to do so. Kitai is seen as excelling at all aspects of Ranger training however he cannot let go of his fear and cannot progress further in his training. In an effort to provide parenting solidarity, Cypher requests Kitai accompany him on his latest mission. On the way to their destination, a gravitational disturbance causes the ship they are traveling in to take sever damage from an asteroid belt. The crew determines that they must land if they are going to survive. The closest planet they can land on is Earth, but there is hesitation due to its reputation for harboring animals evolved to hunt and kill humans. Fearing the worst, they decide to try and land but the ship is torn apart in the entry into the atmosphere. The only two survivors are Kitai and Cypher but Cypher's legs are broken and he cannot walk. Kitai is then tasked to traverse the dangerous terrain to the tail section of the ship in order to activate a distress beacon. Cypher tells him that he will encounter terrible beasts and harsh weather on his one hundred kilometer trip.

Now, as I wrote that summary I started to get excited. That sounds like a pretty badass movie. It has all the elements of a great sci fi flick: space, aliens, danger, death. Let me squash those hopes; this movie is pretty damn awful. I don't even know where to begin...ok, let's start with Nova Prime (humanity's new home).



That is actually a picture of Tatooine from Star Wars but Nova Prime looks almost exactly the same. Smith, who penned this story by himself, couldn't put humanity on something CLOSE to Earth? The scenes on Nova Prime are completely devoid of greenery or real bodies of water. Humans are mostly comprised of water and probably really tasty meat (I'm not a cannibal so I don't know), so it would behoove one to find a planet that has some water on it. Smith bucked that nonsense and put humanity in the middle of a damned desert. Secondly, let's talk about these Ursas. I won't comment on the CGI because I thought it was pretty good. Any time you can make me believe that there is a huge beast on the screen when there really isn't is ok in my book. No, I want to talk about how freaking impractical they are. They were engineered by "aliens" to hunt humans. There is never any explanation about who the aliens are. They are mentioned once as the Ursas inventors and then completely forgotten about. As I said above, the Ursas were bred to smell human fear pheromone but they have no eyes. Why? Why would you create a creature that can't see ANYTHING? Are these things constantly running into walls and living room furniture? There is no indication that they have a "Daredevil" sense so how do they get around? Why wouldn't you give them the ability to smell fear AND see? It just seems like a ridiculous plot device. Also, Cypher tells Kitai that the creatures on Earth have evolved to hunt and kill humans. Why? Humans haven't been on the planet in over a thousand years. Why do these animals need the ability to hunt creatures that they never encounter? Also, how did they evolve to do this? Animals get better at something through practice. There have not been humans to practice hunting in several generations. All of these plot holes make for a very weak story. The one upside? There is a fight scene that is pretty great.

No BS

After Earth just isn't worth seeing. It could be exciting for children because of the sci fi aspect, but honestly, that is all lost because of the philosophical doctrine being shilled throughout the whole film (forget past and future; root yourself in the present). Perhaps, if you really love Will Smith, then wait for RedBox...or Netflix streaming...or HBO...or edited on TBS.

My Score: 3/10 (That fight scene is pretty sweet)

P.S.
Thanks for reading this before Scientology gets it removed from existence.