The Internship

The Internship (2013)
Directed by: Shawn Levy
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 33%

Hello Film Fans!

I hope everyone had a great Father's Day! My girlfriend and I celebrated by taking her dad to a movie. We chose The Internship because it would be appealing to all three of us (they didn't want to see Man of Steel again for some reason). A friend of mine had seen a sneak preview of the movie and said it was cool to see all of the spots in Atlanta (where we live) that they used. I remember seeing Life As We Know It and feeling giddy when I saw the skyline plus I do like Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. What we got is a passable comedy wrapped up in a two hour commercial.

Billy (Vaughn) and Nick (Wilson) are struggling in sales postions in an antiquated career. While on an important dinner business meeting the two are informed (via their potential client) that their company has folded. Unemployed and defeated the two struggle to find work amid a young workforce. Nick begins working in a discount mattress store with Kevin (Will Ferrell in a great cameo), and Billy searches for job positions open in the area. It dons on Billy that the two could be interns at Google which could lead to incredible opportunities for both of them. Billy convinces Nick to leave his job and to try for the internship. The two are begrudgingly accepted into the program and are stuck in a team of outcast interns. With the odds stacked against the team, they prove that their quirky collection of misfits is just effective as the "better teams" (including douchey Max Minghella's team). Billy and Nick prove that experience, tenacity, and lots of eighties movies references can get you far in life.

Above, I stated that The Internship is a two hour Google commercial and I stand by that, however that isn't a bad thing. Google is one of the biggest companies on Earth and they got that way for a reason. I use Google all the time for search, email, maps, images, and blogging (duh). If seeing a movie stupid with product placement is not appealing to you then perhaps think twice about seeing one that has the plot of "two guys get an internship with Google". Getting upset about that would be like seeing the Steve Jobs biopic and complaining about all the Apple references. I have stated before that I just don't like to see comedies in the theater because they seldom pay off. I feel that The Internship was just funny enough to warrant the ticket price. Shawn Levy has made an impressive string of good movies (and one really great one): Date Night (the great one), Real Steel, and The Watch were all funny and I saw all of them in the theater (Real Steel was a matinee).

This movie was brilliant.

The Internship is a classic underdog story. We love underdogs because it represents us; real people. Life is an underdog story. We have all these incredible odds stacked against us yet we manage to scrape through life and some of us do it pretty comfortably. Seeing the group of "Outliers" vie for the coveted positions at Google is like watching us or our friends fighting to make a name for themselves. It's escapist in a grounded way. Where the film falls short is some of their characters. I liked Nick but just couldn't bring myself to fully allow myself to care about Billy. Vaughn's signature say-whatever-comes-to-mind-and-roll-with-it type of improv is great throughout, but he is SO over the top enthusiastic that it grates on the nerves. Even Minghella's "villain" Graham was too much of an ass to have made it that far in life (although Jersey Shore was a thing so...maybe it's not impossible). This wasn't my favorite role for any of the actors involved, but it didn't detract from the quality of the story or jokes.

The Internship is funny and worth seeing. If you really like the Wilson/Vaughn duo then I would say see it with a group at a theater if you can find a matinee, otherwise, RedBox or Netflix it once it makes it to DVD. The laughs are there but you won't be in tears because of it.

My Score: 6.5/10

Man of Steel

Man of Steel (2013)
Directed by: Zack Snyder
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 59%

Hello Film Fans!

Being the nerd that I am, I love superhero films. I had never been an Iron Man fan until the movie...after that, I was hooked. The hero I hold dearest to my heart is The Caped Crusader; The Dark Knight; The Batman. His lack of traditional powers is what makes him so appealing. Critics point to this as reasoning against proclaiming him as a superhero, however they couldn't be further from the truth. Batman is abnormally smart, is incredibly observant, and has a seemingly eidetic memory. Just because he can't fly doesn't mean he isn't super. On the other end of the spectrum is Superman. Supes has just about every power you can name: flight, strength, heat vision, x-ray vision, and invulnerability. He is so overpowered that the only way to effectively fight him is to have access to an element (Kryptonite) that does not occur naturally on Earth. I have despised Superman for years because of his excessive abilities. The old question of whether who would win, Batman or Superman, is a stupid question. Superman should win every time because Batman doesn't have a stockpile of Kryptonite. The question of who is a better more interesting hero is undoubtedly Batman. Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy brought the Dark Knight back to the level he deserves to be at, and his deft hand is trying to do the same with Superman. The Nolan produced/Snyder directed Man of Steel attempts to bring Superman to a gritty new level. Did they succeed? Find out!

!!!Obligatory Spoiler Warning!!!

I am going to provide a short summary of the film. Most of what I will reveal below can be gathered from the trailer and/or prior knowledge of the Superman mythos.
If you don't know the origin story of Superman, I will explain it now (also where have you been). Krypton was a planet far far away from Earth. The people of the planet were an advanced race but they had reached the tipping point of their existence. Since I have not followed the Superman comics, I can only provide the story that the film tells. The persistent expansion of the Kryptonions have forced them to harvest energy from their own planet's core. This eventually causes the planet to implode. Acting out of rage for his people, General Zod (Michael Shannon) decides to take over Krypton in an effort to preserve its people. Jor-El (Russell Crowe), realizing that those on Krypton are all doomed, decides to send his newly born son, Kal-El, to a distant planet where he can rebuild their race. He chooses Earth because an old scout ship had been sent there thousands of years earlier and it would be a suitable home for the new Krypton. He embeds all of the information about Krypton inside Kal-El's DNA and sends him off. As punishment for his betrayal, Zod and his army are sentenced to a place called The Phantom Zone. There are to remain encased in an icy substance for hundreds of years. WHen Krypton explodes, Zod is released from captivity and he begins to hunt for Kal-El. Kal-El's ship lands in Smallville, Kansas and is discovered by Jonathan (Kevin Costner) and Martha (Diane Lane) Kent. They rename Kal-El Clark and they raise him as their own son. Clark suffers through growing pains a tad different than the normal teen. The radiation from the Earth's sun provides Clark with superhuman abilities. In addition to this, the lighter gravity of Earth allows Clark to do truly extraordinary things. The first half of the film is told through flashbacks that reveal how Clark has made it to his current station in life. When a NASA satellite is pinged by a foreign object in Northern Canada, Lois Lane (Amy Adams), a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter for The Daily Planet, is sent to investigate. After some snooping, she discovers that the object is, in fact, a huge alien ship. She encounters Clark and he convinces her to stop trying to discover who he is. Clark activates the ship and moves it to a remote place at the North Pole Due to Clark activating the ship he found, General Zod is alerted to Clark's presence. Clark decides that the people of Earth must know of his existence, whether they're ready or not.

This is the most beautiful superhero film I have ever seen. There are great moments that show Clark growing up that foreshadow events that occur later in his life. Other than some of the cheesy computer imagery, the film shows a skilled director's hand throughout. Something that has been evident in several Superman stories are the religious undertones. Man of Steel is not without. First and foremost, Clark is 33 years old when he decides to reveal himself to the world. This is the same age Jesus was when he learns of His fate. Jor-El says that Kal will be a god among men. This is literally what Jesus was; a God among men. Clark's abilities come from the Sun which is located in "The Heavens". The ship that Clark finds was designed by Jor-El. When Clark inserts the "key" that was sent in his pod, the ship recognizes him as Kal-El and a "shadow" of Jor-El appears. He is able to be anywhere in the ship immediately, and he can also sense the presence of intruders. This effectively makes him Omnipotent and Omnipresent; it makes him God. There is even a point in the film where Clark must decide what he wants to do: come forward and protect Earth, or remain in hiding from Zod. He walks into a church and seeks the advice of a priest. As he sits in the pew, we see a stained glass depiction of Jesus over his right shoulder; real subtle. Perhaps the most compelling piece of the Christ analogy is the need for sacrifice. Something that Superman doesn't do is kill. He'll beat suckers into submission everyday, but when it comes to murder, he shies away. It is mentioned by one of the invading Kryptonians that Clark's sense of morality will be his downfall. During a battle, Clark pleads with an enemy that is threatening to kill a helpless family with their heat vision. During the confrontation Clark must make the decision; save the family or keep his morality. He decides to save the family and, thus, sacrifices his humanity. The story of a Superman is such a great backdrop for a Christ allegory and it makes me wonder how many will pick up on it.

Man of Steel is great. As I mentioned above, I am not a Superman fan, but I am glad I saw this film. It is definitely worth seeing in the theater. Snyder and Nolan do a fantastic job of abandoning the campiness associated with the hero, and injecting some reality. Superman doesn't feel overpowered. He has his work cut out for him with Zod and his army. They replace the neon green Kryptonite with a grayish metal, and they explain why Clark is weak around it. See Man of Steel ASAP.

My Score: 9/10

Safe Haven

Safe Haven (2013)
Directed by: Lasse Hallström
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 14%

Hello Film Fans!

Every once and a while, my girlfriend lures me in to watching a romantic movie. I have seen almost every Nicholas Sparks adaptation (something I am not proud of), and I have seen both of Garry Marshall's romantic-movie-that-takes-place-over-one-day movies (in the theater). So when a friend of ours mentioned that Cobie Smulders was in Safe Haven I expressed interest in seeing it (because come on, it's Robin). I had no idea it was a Nicholas Sparks movie. I saw that Josh Duhamel was in it so that made things a little better (Life As We Know It was actually pretty great), but I was determined to hate it. So sit back, open up a bottle of red wine, and enjoy my review of Another White People Kissing Movie by Nicholas Sparks: Part 8.

Katie (Julianne Hough) is on the run from an unknown assailant. We see her stumbling around her neighborhood until she reaches a place where she knows she'll be safe. We then see her leaving the neighbor's house and head to the bus station. Meanwhile, we see Detective Kevin Tierney working to find an unknown murder suspect that bears a resemblance to Katie. He follows leads to the bus station where he attempts to find her. Luckily for Katie, she had boarded a bus and left right before the police began searching every bus. As the bus travels to an unknown destination, Det. Tierney continues to hunt for his suspect. He even hassles the neighbors and reads their mail in an effort to find the girl. The bus stops for fuel at a small town located on a river in North Carolina. Katie likes the town so much that she decides to stay and let the bus continue without her. She secures a job waitressing at a local restaurant and manages to find a small cabin within her budget (what luck!). Katie meets her only neighbor, Jo (Cobie Smulders), while walking around outside. Jo says she understands the desire for privacy and won't bother her if she doesn't want her to. Katie accepts Jo's friendship and things begin to fall into place. Alex (Josh Duhamel) is a widower with two children. He owns and operates the local convenience store and he immediately becomes smitten with Katie. He fixes a bike for her to use so she doesn't have to walk everywhere, and he makes her feel welcome in the town. Things don't stay perfect for Katie when Det. Tierney discovers where she is hiding.


As far as Romance films go, this one wasn't terrible. I like Josh Duhamel and Cobie Smulders so I could justify the time spent watching it. There was nothing truly significant, film wise, to make it stand out. It is an easy to digest film with pretty likable characters. If Nicholas Sparks is your cup of tea, then you can't pass this up. Also, if you don't have enough How I Met Your Mother in your life (I don't) then here is this:


My Score: 6.5/10

The Purge

The Purge (2013)
Directed by: James DeMonaco
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 44%

Hello Film Fans!

Rarely do I get excited about horror films. As a child, I was terrified of the classics: Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Halloween. They instilled that healthy fear of the unknown, but I never had "fun" watching them. Fast forward a few years to high school and my opinion changed. I had been doing research on the Amityville murders because of the remake that was about to hit the theater. I found everything I read to be absolutely intriguing. I got excited for opening night and even convinced some friends to go with me. I laughed throughout the whole film. The things they said and did were incredibly contrived and inaccurate as to what "really happened". I saw horror movies in a different light after that. I even went and bought the DVD of the scariest movie I have ever seen; John Carpenter's (I hate that I have to make that distinction) Halloween. I still don't pay to see outright horror films because they just aren't what I like. Thrillers, on the other hand, are some of my favorites. It can be a good psychological thriller (Se7en), a great political thriller (All the President's Men), or maybe even a gripping crime thriller (The Usual Suspects). The horror subgenre of thriller is one that has had some heavy hitters in the past (The Shining, Alien, The Ring) but the scariest one I have seen recently is The Strangers.

I think I just wet myself

It blended everything so perfectly. I looked over my shoulder for a solid week after seeing it. That is a good horror film. The Purge comes close but lacks the real danger you feel with The Strangers.

The Purge opens at some point in the near future (2022 I think). Crime is at an all time low, poverty is on the decline, and Americans are seemingly happy. The reason behind this time of peace and prosperity is the annual Purge. A few years prior to the events in the film, the "New Founding Fathers" ordinated that every year, for twelve hours, all emergency services will be suspended. In those twelve hours, anything goes. People are given carte blanche to murder and pillage as they see fit. The reasoning behind the Purge is simple, if you allow everyone to release all their anger and hatred on one day, free of repercussions, then they will be much happier throughout the rest of the year. James Sandin (Ethan Hawke) is a very successful home security salesman. When the film starts, we learn that his team was number on in his district in upgraded security systems. This accomplishment is to be awarded with a large monetary bonus. As James drives through his gated community, we see large, lavish homes. Neighbors out walking their dogs, mowing their lawns, and preparing for the Purge. Through a conversation between James' wife, Mary (Lena Headley), and a neighbor we sense there is an uneasiness between everyone. Nobody quite knows what the others are planning to do with their evening. The neighbor mentions that the new addition the Sandins have built compliments their home nicely, and then makes a remark about how they all helped build it because they bought their security systems from James. The neighbors usually hold a large party during the Purge, but they decide against it this year. As the family sits down to dinner, we are introduced to the two Sandin children: Charlie (Max Burkholder) and Zoey (Adelaide Kane). Charlie is young and curious as to why his parents don't Purge. James tells him because they don't feel the need, but they would if they did. We get a true sense of Mary's disagreement with the Purge when she shifts her eyes quickly to him as he says this. Mary wants no part of the Purge, but it is a way of life. Zoey is a horror movie teenager dressed in a school girl outfit the whole movie. Her boyfriend is older than her by several years, but he claims to "love" her (they actually growl at each other to show affection...). Minutes before the beginning of the Purge, the Sandins gather in their house's command center to activate their security system. After a brief explanation of what the Purge is and a siren signaling the commencement, everything goes back to normal. A while later we see that there is a man trying to escape a group of people out to murder him. Charlie sees the man on the security camera monitors and decides to help him. He deactivates the system, allowing the man to enter their home. He quickly disappears in the confusion and tension begins to build in the household. Shortly after the disturbance, the group that was chasing him arrives at the Sandin's door. Their leader, Henry (Tony Oller) gives them an ultimatum: deliver our victim to us, or we will come in and kill you.

The Purge does a lot of things right. The premise, while pretty far fetched, is intriguing, however it's not the first time it has been used. The original Star Trek series had an episode where a civilization lived in banality except for during a twelve hour period where there were no rules. The underlying issue in The Purge is that the wealthy get wealthier and the poor get poorer. Case in point, James Sandin is a home security salesman. He is already rich, but he has become even richer due to his neighbors buying security systems from him. There is a sense of resentment in the community because they feel like they are not being treated fairly. The main targets for people out Purging are homeless or in extreme poverty. Henry pleads with James when he discovers his victim is taking sanctuary inside his house. He calls the man garbage and that it is his right to eradicate him so that the rest of the population can live without his burden. I would venture to say that there are some people today that wouldn't mind too much if Obama made the annual Purge a reality. What the Purge does right is it makes us question our morality; our humanity. What it does wrong is it employs horror movie tropes. People popping out of nowhere, there are a few trip and fall moments, and, as I stated above, the pretty teenager in a school girl outfit. In addition to these, we never really get a sense of danger because the villans are not shown all that often. Henry is a terrific movie villan, but his character is wasted due to lack of presence.

No BS

The Purge is a lot of fun. There are some tough moments to watch (security footage of brutal beatings and murder) but they are pretty isolated. All the actors do a great job in their roles (especially Oller). If you like horror movies then this decision will be easy for you, however if you want a smart thriller, wait for this one. The reliance on cliches and the lack of that feeling of danger makes the film feel a little light.

My Score: 6.5/10

After Earth

After Earth (2013)
Directed by: M. Night Shyamalan
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 12%

Hello Film Fans!

It feels like it has been too long since my last entry! For that, I apologize. I have been incredibly busy with my day job, the website, and getting a new YouTube "experiment" off the ground. Essentially, I will be doing a "roundtable" discussion on varying topics. After Earth is going to the first of these videos, but I am still going to do a comprehensive review. Now, let's get to it.

I wouldn't call myself a Will Smith fan. Sure, I liked Fresh Prince, Men In Black, Independence Day, and Hitch but it wasn't because of Smith (well, with the exception of the Fresh Prince). I love Tommy Lee Jones, Jeff Goldblum, and Kevin James but they aren't why I saw those movies either. Their stories were appealing to me. A secret government organization that hunts down rogue aliens and uses memory erasing tech...how is that NOT awesome? The best part is we have no way of knowing if this story is based on true events. "That's ludicrous" you almost surely exclaimed right there and you probably followed it with something like, "there is no proof that aliens exist". My rebuttal to that is, how do you know? Your memory has probably been erased.

Look at this light for me please.

Anyway, I say all that because typically, I never see a film based on a singular actor/actress (unless it's Brad Pitt...not kidding).

Yeah...

When the trailers for After Earth came out, I was less than enthused to see it. I thought Smith looked ridiculous and I am tired of Post Apocalyptic films. Furthermore, the accents used in the film made would make former house slaves balk. What caught my eye was the huge number of people claiming that Smith's latest foray into cinema is actually an elaborate nod to Scientology. Read any of those links and prepare to cringe (maybe?). The correlations to Scientology is something I want to discuss in my roundtable so this entry will just be a typical review.

After Earth stars Will Smith as Cypher Raige (yep, that's his given name) and his son Jaden Smith as Kitai Raige (Cypher's son). According to the history detailed in the story, humans were forced to leave Earth a thousand years ago because of war and pollution. They settled on a planet called Nova Prime and things were peaceful for a while. However, after an indeterminate amount of time, "aliens" invaded and dropped these creatures called Ursas on the planet's surface. Ursas have no eyes but have instead been engineered to smell the pheromones given off by humans when they experience fear. This works to the Ursas advantage because they are disgustingly vile creatures.


The defense force for the Human colony (the Ranger Corp) develops a technique called ghosting which consists of suppressing fear, and thus making them invisible to the Ursas. Cypher is well known throughout the colony because of his unsurpassed ghosting ability, and his ability to train others to do so. Kitai is seen as excelling at all aspects of Ranger training however he cannot let go of his fear and cannot progress further in his training. In an effort to provide parenting solidarity, Cypher requests Kitai accompany him on his latest mission. On the way to their destination, a gravitational disturbance causes the ship they are traveling in to take sever damage from an asteroid belt. The crew determines that they must land if they are going to survive. The closest planet they can land on is Earth, but there is hesitation due to its reputation for harboring animals evolved to hunt and kill humans. Fearing the worst, they decide to try and land but the ship is torn apart in the entry into the atmosphere. The only two survivors are Kitai and Cypher but Cypher's legs are broken and he cannot walk. Kitai is then tasked to traverse the dangerous terrain to the tail section of the ship in order to activate a distress beacon. Cypher tells him that he will encounter terrible beasts and harsh weather on his one hundred kilometer trip.

Now, as I wrote that summary I started to get excited. That sounds like a pretty badass movie. It has all the elements of a great sci fi flick: space, aliens, danger, death. Let me squash those hopes; this movie is pretty damn awful. I don't even know where to begin...ok, let's start with Nova Prime (humanity's new home).



That is actually a picture of Tatooine from Star Wars but Nova Prime looks almost exactly the same. Smith, who penned this story by himself, couldn't put humanity on something CLOSE to Earth? The scenes on Nova Prime are completely devoid of greenery or real bodies of water. Humans are mostly comprised of water and probably really tasty meat (I'm not a cannibal so I don't know), so it would behoove one to find a planet that has some water on it. Smith bucked that nonsense and put humanity in the middle of a damned desert. Secondly, let's talk about these Ursas. I won't comment on the CGI because I thought it was pretty good. Any time you can make me believe that there is a huge beast on the screen when there really isn't is ok in my book. No, I want to talk about how freaking impractical they are. They were engineered by "aliens" to hunt humans. There is never any explanation about who the aliens are. They are mentioned once as the Ursas inventors and then completely forgotten about. As I said above, the Ursas were bred to smell human fear pheromone but they have no eyes. Why? Why would you create a creature that can't see ANYTHING? Are these things constantly running into walls and living room furniture? There is no indication that they have a "Daredevil" sense so how do they get around? Why wouldn't you give them the ability to smell fear AND see? It just seems like a ridiculous plot device. Also, Cypher tells Kitai that the creatures on Earth have evolved to hunt and kill humans. Why? Humans haven't been on the planet in over a thousand years. Why do these animals need the ability to hunt creatures that they never encounter? Also, how did they evolve to do this? Animals get better at something through practice. There have not been humans to practice hunting in several generations. All of these plot holes make for a very weak story. The one upside? There is a fight scene that is pretty great.

No BS

After Earth just isn't worth seeing. It could be exciting for children because of the sci fi aspect, but honestly, that is all lost because of the philosophical doctrine being shilled throughout the whole film (forget past and future; root yourself in the present). Perhaps, if you really love Will Smith, then wait for RedBox...or Netflix streaming...or HBO...or edited on TBS.

My Score: 3/10 (That fight scene is pretty sweet)

P.S.
Thanks for reading this before Scientology gets it removed from existence.