Directed by: Various
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 5%
vi·gnette [vin-yet] noun: any small, pleasing picture or view. a small, graceful literary sketch.
Saturday Night Live has been successful for three decades by utilizing the concept of vignette. It is a type of entertainment that works well with stage shows and television; not film. There have been exceptions: Jim Jarmusch's 2003 film Coffee and Cigarettes and the ensemble directed 1995 film Four Rooms are two examples of the disjointedness of the bits working well together. Movie 43 is not a successful vignette; it's not a successful anything.
Movie 43 is a "film" of shorts told within the structure of a real story. Greg Kinnear plays Griffin, a film executive working at a Hollywood production company. He is being pitched a series of ideas by Charlie (Dennis Quaid). Each of the ideas that Charlie throws out becomes its own story within the story. None of the ideas are fleshed out and what we get is a series of absurd and uncomfortable short films. I don't want to go into too much detail just in case you, my readers, ever want to subject yourself to watching this terrible terrible movie. I will break down three of the fourteen shorts so you can have an idea of what kind of terrible I am talking about.
Story #1: The Catch - Directed by: Peter Farrelly
Kate Winslett stars in this film about a a woman going on a blind date with one of the cities most eligible bachelors (Hugh Jackman). Beth (Winslett) and Davis (Jackman) arrive at a nice restaurant and are already engaged in conversation. They are laughing and enjoying each other's company. As they are seated, Davis removes his scarf he has been wearing to reveal a set of testicles on his throat. Beth is immediately horrified as this is not something that you
Story #2: Veronica - Directed by: Griffin Dunne
This story opens inside a supermarket. A less than enthused employee is rambling over the PA about their specials and sales within the store. Several people meander about the aisles like zombies. The clerk is interrupted when Veronica (Emma Stone) slams a box down on his checkout lane. It is quickly revealed the two are or were lovers. After an uncomfortable exchange between the two; Veronica storms out. An elderly man walks up to the clerk and asks to use the PA microphone. He gives an impromptu speech about finding true love and how the clerk, Neil (Kieran Culkin), should go after her. The people in the store offer to take his shifts and he flees out the door after Veronica.
Story #3: Victory's Glory - Directed by: Rusty Cundieff
This is the funniest sketch in this movie but it is a one trick pony. Terrence Howard plays Coach Jackson, a basketball coach for a black high school in 1959. He is giving a pep talk to his team in the locker room before the championship game against a rival white school. The team is scared they are no match for the white team but Jackson tells them they have nothing to fear because this is basketball; and they are black. That is the whole story. Jackson continues to tell them that because they are black they will win. Throw in a few references to penis size and you have the entire story.
I wanted to like Movie 43. There are more stars in this film than any other movie I've ever seen. What it comes down to though is that there is nothing going on. There is nothing tying these stories together and they all feel aimless. I believe that some producer of this film has incriminating evidence on all the people involved and that is why they lent their time and effort to the project. There are Oscar winners and nominees in this film. Normally talented people are reduced to caricatures. It is quite sad to watch. I refuse to post any videos related to this film because I don't want to subject you to them but they are out there if you dare to risk your sanity. I would like to apologize to my girlfriend for subjecting you to this. We should have seen Warm Bodies.
No BS
Don't see this movie. Plain and simple.
My Score: 1/10 (there are some cheap laughs)
No comments:
Post a Comment