This Is the End

This Is the End (2013)
Directed by: Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 84%

Hey Film Fans!

I just got back from a week long vacation to Virginia Beach so that is why I haven't updated in a while! To kick things back into gear I want to discuss This Is the End. I saw it as part of a double feature at the Star Light Drive-In in Atlanta. It's $7 a person and you get to see two films (the other one we saw was The Heat) so it's a pretty good deal. I didn't really have high hopes for the film because large ensemble comedies have a tendency to fall flat (or completely implode). That is not so for This Is the End.

This Is the End was penned by Rogen and Goldberg who also brought you Superbad, Pineapple Express, The Green Hornet, and The Watch. I liked all of these movies so I was excited for This Is the End. The film starts with Jay Baruchel arriving in Los Angeles on a trip to visit Seth Rogen. The two hangout at Seth's house and catch up (smoke loads of pot and play video games). Seth mentions that James Franco is having a party and that they should stop by. Jay is upset because he wants to spend time with Seth and he despises James. Jay eventually caves and the two go to the party. Almost every twenty or thirtysomething in Hollywood you can think of is at James' house partying hard. Michael Cera is playing pool in a track suit, is coked out of his mind, and is acting very UN-Michael Cera-ey (he keeps slapping Rihanna on the ass and yelling at everyone about his awesome coke). Jay and Seth leave to pick up something from a local convenience store and that is when the world goes to sh*t. Blue lights shoot down from the sky and make select people disappear. What results is a world full of chaos. The ground in front of James' house opens up and several celebrities fall in. Aziz Ansari pleads with people to help him up but eventually succumbs to the hole. The remaining celebrities that have survived regroup inside of the house and go over their supplies.


Everyone then decides to get some rest so they can face whatever comes at them the next day. They are surprised when it is revealed that Danny McBride had been passed out in a bathtub all night and has no idea what is going on. He wakes up and promptly uses almost all of their remaining supplies to make a large breakfast. After some time the group comes to the conclusion that they are in the aftermath of The Rapture that is prophesied in the book of Revelation (no S) of the Holy Bible. If this is true, then a fight with Satan can't be too far off.

I was actually surprised at how coherent the story for This Is the End was. Having seen the abomination that was Movie 43 I didn't have high hopes for the ensemble comedy. I am happy to say that I was wrong. The reason This Is the End works is because outside of the end of the world scenario, it is totally believable. Everyone in Hollywood is connected with everyone else so why wouldn't they all get together and party? What adds to the believability is the fact that Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg have worked with pretty much everyone in the film. It just doesn't seem far off base to think that when the world goes to Hell, these guys will most definitely witness it together. My favorite parts of the film are James Franco's obsession and devotion to Seth Rogen, and Jonah Hill's completely put on admiration and respect for Jay Baruchel. Throughout the film, James makes references to an underlying feeling of love for Seth and it makes for some awesomely awkward moments. For instance, in his home, James has two large portraits hanging on his wall; one of himself and one of Seth Rogen. When the time comes to use them for barricades (or firewood I can't remember) James insists they leave the one of Seth intact and that they take his.

One of the ongoing themes of the film is Jay's unfounded feeling that Jonah Hill hates him. Seth assures him that it isn't true and that Jonah is the nicest guy in the world. During the film, Jonah tries to comfort Jay and win his friendship by killing him with kindness. It is revealed towards the end that Jonah actually does hate Jay and wants him to die. He prays to God asking Him to kill Jay so that he doesn't have to see him anymore.

There is a reason that This Is the End is rated so high on Rotten Tomatoes and IMDb; it's a good flick. This is one I think you can justify paying theater prices for, because you'll be laughing with the rest of the audience. Obviously, if you don't like crude humor then you may want to skip this, but if you can't laugh at crass jokes every now and then, why laugh at all?

My Score: 7.5/10

The Heat

The Heat (2013)
Directed by: Paul Feig
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 63%

Hello Film Fans!

Sorry it's been awhile since my last review. I proposed to my girlfriend of four and a half years two weeks ago so we have been busy. I will probably start doing more new RedBox/Netflix films more often than theatrical films (gots to budget properly, ya know?), but there are definitely some big ones I will be seeing (Wolverine, Thor, others...). This past Saturday, Katie and I went and saw TWO movies for the price of one courtesy of the Starlight Drive In Theater. This review will be of The Heat and the second one will be for This Is the End. Also, a little note about the image for this review: I refuse to use that awfully butchered theatrical poster. Melissa McCarthy looks like a ghost and it haunts my soul so instead, I decided to use an image where both Bullock and McCarthy look like they could destroy the person that botched that Photoshop job. That is all.

The Heat stars Sandra Bullock as Sarah Ashburn and Melissa McCarthy as Shannon Mullins. Sarah is a special agent with the FBI that is on course to be promoted. She is exceptional in the field and follows the rules to a T. This makes other agents look like amateurs and, thus, causes resentment. The rift between Sarah and the other agents forces her superior to reassign her to the Boston office. Sarah reluctantly takes the position in hopes to prove her mettle. Shannon is a detective with the Boston Police that gets things accomplished in a unique fashion. When Sarah begins investigating a drug lord, her path crosses with Shannon's. This causes conflict because of their drastically different approaches to their careers. Shannon is a tough Boston officer with a soft spot for her family and neighborhood and Sarah is anxious to close the case and get back to New York. The two eventually find a common ground (putting criminals in prison), and are able to bond.

I must admit that I didn't have high hopes for this film, but I am not really sure why. I absolutely loved Bridesmaids, Sandra Bullock is pretty incredible, Melissa McCarthy is probably the funniest woman in Hollywood right now (Kristin Wiig is right there with her), and Paul Feig has never made anything bad (Freaks and Geeks...enough said). Still, I just wasn't excited about The Heat. Perhaps it was because everywhere I looked I saw the trailer (which can get old really fast), or maybe it was because it seemed that Bullock was reprising her Miss Congeniality role (she's not). Whatever the reason, I am glad I saw it. Kate Dippold's first feature length script is filled with great characters, witty dialoge, and a pretty engaging, albeit generic, story. It further solidifies my desire to see McCarthy star in a film rather than share the spotlight with other comedic power hitters. Bridesmaids was arguably her breakout role but she has been active for a while. I first saw her on Gilmore Girls (that show was amazing):

She also stars in Mike and Molly opposite Billy Gardell:

She has been fantastic on SNL:
I love this skit

Along with these TV and film appearances, she also has a YouTube character named Marbles Harsgrove:

I feel McCarthy has the chops to carry a film without having to attach a gimmick to her character. In Bridesmaids she was a homely government agent, in Identity Thief she was a criminal, and in The Heat she was, again, a homely officer. I'd like to see her as a typical woman that happens to be hysterical. The counterpoint to this suggestion is that McCarthy works best in an ensemble. That is what made Bridesmaids so funny. The collection of hilarious women made the film so much better. Whatever the case may be, I am excited to see more of her films.

Eventhough I always suggest against seeing comedies in the theater, I would say that this one is a pretty safe bet. The comedy will likely be heightened by the shared laughter and the money you spent will be justified. There is quite a bit of language so if that is something that offends you then perhaps steer clear. Watch for director Paul Feig's cameo (as well as McCarthy's husband, Ben Falcone).

My Score: 7/10

The Internship

The Internship (2013)
Directed by: Shawn Levy
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 33%

Hello Film Fans!

I hope everyone had a great Father's Day! My girlfriend and I celebrated by taking her dad to a movie. We chose The Internship because it would be appealing to all three of us (they didn't want to see Man of Steel again for some reason). A friend of mine had seen a sneak preview of the movie and said it was cool to see all of the spots in Atlanta (where we live) that they used. I remember seeing Life As We Know It and feeling giddy when I saw the skyline plus I do like Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. What we got is a passable comedy wrapped up in a two hour commercial.

Billy (Vaughn) and Nick (Wilson) are struggling in sales postions in an antiquated career. While on an important dinner business meeting the two are informed (via their potential client) that their company has folded. Unemployed and defeated the two struggle to find work amid a young workforce. Nick begins working in a discount mattress store with Kevin (Will Ferrell in a great cameo), and Billy searches for job positions open in the area. It dons on Billy that the two could be interns at Google which could lead to incredible opportunities for both of them. Billy convinces Nick to leave his job and to try for the internship. The two are begrudgingly accepted into the program and are stuck in a team of outcast interns. With the odds stacked against the team, they prove that their quirky collection of misfits is just effective as the "better teams" (including douchey Max Minghella's team). Billy and Nick prove that experience, tenacity, and lots of eighties movies references can get you far in life.

Above, I stated that The Internship is a two hour Google commercial and I stand by that, however that isn't a bad thing. Google is one of the biggest companies on Earth and they got that way for a reason. I use Google all the time for search, email, maps, images, and blogging (duh). If seeing a movie stupid with product placement is not appealing to you then perhaps think twice about seeing one that has the plot of "two guys get an internship with Google". Getting upset about that would be like seeing the Steve Jobs biopic and complaining about all the Apple references. I have stated before that I just don't like to see comedies in the theater because they seldom pay off. I feel that The Internship was just funny enough to warrant the ticket price. Shawn Levy has made an impressive string of good movies (and one really great one): Date Night (the great one), Real Steel, and The Watch were all funny and I saw all of them in the theater (Real Steel was a matinee).

This movie was brilliant.

The Internship is a classic underdog story. We love underdogs because it represents us; real people. Life is an underdog story. We have all these incredible odds stacked against us yet we manage to scrape through life and some of us do it pretty comfortably. Seeing the group of "Outliers" vie for the coveted positions at Google is like watching us or our friends fighting to make a name for themselves. It's escapist in a grounded way. Where the film falls short is some of their characters. I liked Nick but just couldn't bring myself to fully allow myself to care about Billy. Vaughn's signature say-whatever-comes-to-mind-and-roll-with-it type of improv is great throughout, but he is SO over the top enthusiastic that it grates on the nerves. Even Minghella's "villain" Graham was too much of an ass to have made it that far in life (although Jersey Shore was a thing so...maybe it's not impossible). This wasn't my favorite role for any of the actors involved, but it didn't detract from the quality of the story or jokes.

The Internship is funny and worth seeing. If you really like the Wilson/Vaughn duo then I would say see it with a group at a theater if you can find a matinee, otherwise, RedBox or Netflix it once it makes it to DVD. The laughs are there but you won't be in tears because of it.

My Score: 6.5/10

The Purge

The Purge (2013)
Directed by: James DeMonaco
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 44%

Hello Film Fans!

Rarely do I get excited about horror films. As a child, I was terrified of the classics: Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Halloween. They instilled that healthy fear of the unknown, but I never had "fun" watching them. Fast forward a few years to high school and my opinion changed. I had been doing research on the Amityville murders because of the remake that was about to hit the theater. I found everything I read to be absolutely intriguing. I got excited for opening night and even convinced some friends to go with me. I laughed throughout the whole film. The things they said and did were incredibly contrived and inaccurate as to what "really happened". I saw horror movies in a different light after that. I even went and bought the DVD of the scariest movie I have ever seen; John Carpenter's (I hate that I have to make that distinction) Halloween. I still don't pay to see outright horror films because they just aren't what I like. Thrillers, on the other hand, are some of my favorites. It can be a good psychological thriller (Se7en), a great political thriller (All the President's Men), or maybe even a gripping crime thriller (The Usual Suspects). The horror subgenre of thriller is one that has had some heavy hitters in the past (The Shining, Alien, The Ring) but the scariest one I have seen recently is The Strangers.

I think I just wet myself

It blended everything so perfectly. I looked over my shoulder for a solid week after seeing it. That is a good horror film. The Purge comes close but lacks the real danger you feel with The Strangers.

The Purge opens at some point in the near future (2022 I think). Crime is at an all time low, poverty is on the decline, and Americans are seemingly happy. The reason behind this time of peace and prosperity is the annual Purge. A few years prior to the events in the film, the "New Founding Fathers" ordinated that every year, for twelve hours, all emergency services will be suspended. In those twelve hours, anything goes. People are given carte blanche to murder and pillage as they see fit. The reasoning behind the Purge is simple, if you allow everyone to release all their anger and hatred on one day, free of repercussions, then they will be much happier throughout the rest of the year. James Sandin (Ethan Hawke) is a very successful home security salesman. When the film starts, we learn that his team was number on in his district in upgraded security systems. This accomplishment is to be awarded with a large monetary bonus. As James drives through his gated community, we see large, lavish homes. Neighbors out walking their dogs, mowing their lawns, and preparing for the Purge. Through a conversation between James' wife, Mary (Lena Headley), and a neighbor we sense there is an uneasiness between everyone. Nobody quite knows what the others are planning to do with their evening. The neighbor mentions that the new addition the Sandins have built compliments their home nicely, and then makes a remark about how they all helped build it because they bought their security systems from James. The neighbors usually hold a large party during the Purge, but they decide against it this year. As the family sits down to dinner, we are introduced to the two Sandin children: Charlie (Max Burkholder) and Zoey (Adelaide Kane). Charlie is young and curious as to why his parents don't Purge. James tells him because they don't feel the need, but they would if they did. We get a true sense of Mary's disagreement with the Purge when she shifts her eyes quickly to him as he says this. Mary wants no part of the Purge, but it is a way of life. Zoey is a horror movie teenager dressed in a school girl outfit the whole movie. Her boyfriend is older than her by several years, but he claims to "love" her (they actually growl at each other to show affection...). Minutes before the beginning of the Purge, the Sandins gather in their house's command center to activate their security system. After a brief explanation of what the Purge is and a siren signaling the commencement, everything goes back to normal. A while later we see that there is a man trying to escape a group of people out to murder him. Charlie sees the man on the security camera monitors and decides to help him. He deactivates the system, allowing the man to enter their home. He quickly disappears in the confusion and tension begins to build in the household. Shortly after the disturbance, the group that was chasing him arrives at the Sandin's door. Their leader, Henry (Tony Oller) gives them an ultimatum: deliver our victim to us, or we will come in and kill you.

The Purge does a lot of things right. The premise, while pretty far fetched, is intriguing, however it's not the first time it has been used. The original Star Trek series had an episode where a civilization lived in banality except for during a twelve hour period where there were no rules. The underlying issue in The Purge is that the wealthy get wealthier and the poor get poorer. Case in point, James Sandin is a home security salesman. He is already rich, but he has become even richer due to his neighbors buying security systems from him. There is a sense of resentment in the community because they feel like they are not being treated fairly. The main targets for people out Purging are homeless or in extreme poverty. Henry pleads with James when he discovers his victim is taking sanctuary inside his house. He calls the man garbage and that it is his right to eradicate him so that the rest of the population can live without his burden. I would venture to say that there are some people today that wouldn't mind too much if Obama made the annual Purge a reality. What the Purge does right is it makes us question our morality; our humanity. What it does wrong is it employs horror movie tropes. People popping out of nowhere, there are a few trip and fall moments, and, as I stated above, the pretty teenager in a school girl outfit. In addition to these, we never really get a sense of danger because the villans are not shown all that often. Henry is a terrific movie villan, but his character is wasted due to lack of presence.

No BS

The Purge is a lot of fun. There are some tough moments to watch (security footage of brutal beatings and murder) but they are pretty isolated. All the actors do a great job in their roles (especially Oller). If you like horror movies then this decision will be easy for you, however if you want a smart thriller, wait for this one. The reliance on cliches and the lack of that feeling of danger makes the film feel a little light.

My Score: 6.5/10

The Office Is Coming to An End

I love television almost as much as I love film. I feel that a complex story with large casts can be told better through the medium rather than one long two and a half hour film. You can use entire episodes to delve into the lives of one of your main characters. You can twist your story arch to match current events. It just works for elaborate plots. However, it is not without its pitfalls. The worst thing a TV show can do is out stay its welcome. What ends up happening is a show that was once loved by all turns into a train wreck that everybody collectively hates. I'm sure you've heard the term "jump the shark" before. Do you know where it comes from? Happy Days. Yes, the show that introduced the world to "The Fonz" also introduced the world to what it was like when a tremendously successful show simply sticks around too long. Like the last person at a party. You're tired and ready to hit the hay, but Chatty Cathy insists on telling you all about whatever the Hell is going on in her life at the moment. The term comes from the season premiere of the fifth season of the show. The show runners decided that rather than continue to make a program that people had grown to love, one that told relavent stories with a 1950s backdrop, they try and turn everything upside down. They had Henry Winkler dress in swim trunks and a leather jacket and filmed him (at least I hope it was really him...because that'd be awesome) literally jumping a shark in a tank on waterskis. This phrase became commonplace for anyone or anything that tried so desperately to be relavent that they ended up completely destroying any credibility they once had. The Office got that way for a lot of people. While I cannot pinpoint an actual "jumping the shark" moment, I believe many think that the show should have ended with Steve Carell leaving. I would have agreed with this statement a few months ago, however this past season has been one of the best in recent memory. Even though it seemed like the writers were trying to break up Pam and Jim (one of the best TV couples of all time. This is not debatable.) they redeemed themselves this past episode. What I'd like to do is give a BRIEF recap of where we are at in the show and what I think the finale will have in store. Please share your thoughts and opinions below!!

It's been a few years since Michael Scott has left. Robert California (James Spader) came in and took over the managerial duties for a season.

He was incredible.




Without James Spader, I would've stopped watching. I hated the character Gabe. I didn't like the direction the show went when they were bought by Sabre. Most of all, I really didn't enjoy the extreme character behavior modifications. Kevin (who has always been a little slow) has been turned into a barely functioning adult. It is surprising that he is able to do simple math, because of how moronic they have made him. This applies to Andy (Ed Helms) as well. Andy has always been a quirky nice guy with a short fuse, but recently he has become an unstable dolt. A similar situation occurred on one of my favorite shows growing up, Boy Meets World. Eric Matthews (Will Friedle) was the older brother to Cory (Ben Savage). He usually had good advice and was as supportive as any other big brother would be. However, as the seasons went on, Eric's intellect dropped off the table. It was as if he spent his entire high school career huffing glue and slamming his head into the wall. Every now and then we would see glimpses of a truly intelligent person peeking through the idiot's eyes, but he was quickly scared off by the nonsensical ramblings being spewed at him by the imbecilic dominant portion of his being. What Spader brought to the show was order. He was whimsical but also sincere. It was like having the antithesis of Michael and it worked. When Spader left, Andy took over and things were still pretty good. However, the show really started falling apart when Andy discovers that his family has gone bankrupt. He goes through a crisis and leaves the office to sell his family's boat. Jim takes a part time job with a start up athlete representation company in Philadelphia that some friends started. Darryl decides to go with him and things begin to turn for Jim. The separation from his family begins to weigh on Pam and Jim's relationship and they start to resent each other. For a few episodes it seemed that Pam was going to have an affair with the boom mic operator (I swear I think his name was Mike) but that was nixed when people lost their sh*t. David Wallace (who now owns Dunder Mifflin) ends up firing Andy and places Dwight in charge of the branch. Dwight assigns Jim as his Assistant to the Regional Manager and the old antics arise again. In a lot of ways the final episodes of the show have gone back to what made me fall in love with it in the first place. Great characters, funny dialogue, and classic Jim pranks.

In the episode that just aired, Dwight confesses his love for Angela and he proposes to her. She accepts and they FINALLY end up together. Jim is back at the branch full time and he begins to rebuild his marriage with Pam. Andy embarked on a journey to become an actor/singer but ends up failing miserably. We also learn that the documentary that has been filming for the past ten years is set to air. The episode ends with all of the current staff (and Andy) watching the premiere at a local pub.

The series finale is set to air on May 16 from 9-10:15 and I am stoked. The trailer for the episode reveals a lot about what we can expect.


It's six months after the documentary premiere and every is gathering for Dwight and Angela's wedding. It appears that it is taking place on Schrute Farm so surely Mose and cousin Zeke will make appearances. I think that Andy may have found success as an actor after the airing of the documentary. Darryl has gone on to sign numerous famous athletes for AthLead and is now "Oprah Rich". It appears that Kelly and Ryan have a child but there is another man of Indian decent with them. Three way relationship? I wouldn't be surprised. Phyllis is giving Angela away because she has always been the matriarch of the office. It seems that it is an old Schrute custom for the bride to be to ride the mother down the aisle like a donkey. I would like to be a Schrute. Dwight's bachelor party is sure to be epic because of his complete lack of social skills. I hope that Michael will come back as Dwight's best man, but I feel that that duty will be reserved for Jim. Perhaps by the time that the wedding rolls around, Toby and Nellie will have finally gotten together. Erin and Pete will still be together and I think that Clark will show up to the wedding with Jan Levenson. Stanley will be getting a divorce because his unfaithfulness will be known to his wife due to the airing of his confessional tapings. He will show up with a young date. Creed will be Creed. I want Meredith and Creed to be each other's dates. I think they deserve each other. Bob Vance from Vance Refrigeration will be there with Phyllis and perhaps he has donated something for the wedding. Oscar and the Senator will be there because no hard feelings, right? I would really like to see Karen and all the other short lived characters come back but I doubt it will happen.

The Office Series Finale will be an epic ending to a show that will be talked about for years to come. The three time Emmy winning show has been the source of many watercooler conversations and has given the culture a punchline that never gets old (when used properly). I am sure that I will need a tissue or nine while I watch the episode, and there will be hole in my heart shaped like a Dwight Schrute bobblehead. I am going to miss the show, but I am excited to see where everyone ends up now that they can test other avenues in their careers.

What do YOU think will happen? What is your favorite Office moment? Share down below!

Place Beyond the Pines

Place Beyond the Pines (2013)
Directed by: Derek Cianfrance
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 81%

A little while back, I reviewed Blue Valentine which is another one of Cianfrance's films. I really enjoyed the emotion and gravity of the film so when I saw the trailer for Place Beyond the Pines, and saw that Cianfrance was at the helm again, I got excited. The trailer sets up the story nicely without revealing too much to the viewer. It was released nationwide yesterday and I took the opportunity to score a matinee price this afternoon. Before you read my review, I strongly encourage you to watch the trailer if you haven't already.


Luke Glanton (Ryan Gosling) is a daredevil dirtbike rider. He makes a living traveling with a carnival and performing stunts inside a metal cage. The film opens with Luke walking from his trailer to the tent where his bike and cage await. We see that Luke is heavily tattooed and has bleached blonde hair. He looks like white trash. After his performance, Luke is signing autographs for the children that watched him perform. At this point, a woman catches his eye. It is revealed that Luke knows the woman, Romina (Eva Mendes), from the year before. He takes her home and tells her that he is leaving for another year tomorrow. The two part ways but Luke begins to contemplate staying with Romina. He rides back to her house and Romina's mother answers the door. She is holding a baby and informs him that he, Jason, is his son. Luke holds Jason for a few moments, hands him back to Romina's mother, and heads to the diner where she works. He confronts her about the child and says that he is going to stick around. He quits his job with the carnival the next day and goes to ride his bike in the hills. He is spotted by Robin (Ben Mendelsohn) who is out riding his four-wheeler. Robin offers Luke a ride into town and he accepts. As they ride, Robin discovers that Luke knows a lot about engine mechanics so he offers him a job and a trailer to sleep in. After some time passes, Luke mentions that he needs more work because what Robin is paying is not enough to support Jason and Romina. Robin tells Luke they could rob a bank and Luke laughs off the suggestion. Robin details the plans for the robbery stating that he has done it four times over a decade ago; he was never caught. After an altercation with Romina's boyfriend, Luke agrees to the robbery. Place Beyond the Pines is a film about the decisions we make and how they affect our lives and those around us. It's about the lengths that a father would go through to protect and to provide for his child.

**OBLIGATORY SPOILER WARNING**
Place Beyond the Pines feels like three separate films. The first part is about Luke, Romina, and the bank robberies. The second part is about Bradley Cooper (yeah, he's in this), Avery Cross, a young Schenectady police officer that catches Luke. The last part is about Cross's son, AJ, and Jason fifteen years after Luke is caught. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but it segments the film and can feel jarring. As I was watching the film I checked the time more times than I like to while I am supposed to be engrossed in what I am watching. I am not saying the film was bad, actually, it's quite the contrary. It just felt...disjointed. The most exciting aspect of the film was the bank robberies. When Robin tells Luke his plan it seems too easy. Luke parks his bike at the front door of the bank he is robbing, he wears coveralls and his helmet, and he goes in and demands that the tellers empty their drawers. Luke puts the bills in his bag himself to ensure there are no dye packs. He then exits the bank and rides his bike, really fast mind you, to a truck here Robin is waiting. Luke rides the bike up into the truck, Robin closes the gate, and the two ride off without a trace of the robber. These scenes keep you pulled in. We want Luke to succeed because he is doing this for his family. However, things get dicey when Luke feels the need to rob more and more banks. He becomes addicted to the rush and to the feeling he gets by providing for Ro and Jason. This is Luke's decision that changes his life forever.
Avery Cross ends up catching Luke and is awarded by the department for his bravery. He is then taken to Ro's house by fellow officers to search the premises for evidence of the money that Luke stashed. When one of the officers finds fourteen thousand dollars, they leave and split it amongst them (with Avery getting the largest cut). When Avery brings this to the attention of the captain, he is chastised for trying to indict his fellow officers. Officer Deluca (Ray Liotta), the leader of the crooked cops, instructs Avery to follow him in his car because he needs to discuss something with him. Deluca leads Avery out into a dirt road in the woods and Avery stops his car, reverses, and speeds away. He then goes to the DA (Bruce Greenwood) with evidence against a group of officers and demands to be made an assistant DA. He is asked if he is sure he wants to go through with the case. Avery says he does. This is Avery's decision.
Fifteen years later, Avery is now seeking public office and is in the thick of the election season. His son, AJ, has come to live with him and is not fitting in well (he talks like a Jersey Shore reject). Jason, Luke's son, is the same age as AJ and is a loner at school. The two become friends until the truth about AJ's father is made known to Jason. Jason must decide how he will handle that information. This is Jason's decision. Ultimately, as I stated above, Place Beyond the Pines explores the decisions we make, how they affect the situation, and how that affect will continue for years to come.

No BS

Place Beyond the Pines is a cerebral film. It makes you think about what you would do if placed in the position that the characters are in. Would you react in the same way? Would you be so quick to be the hero or would you take an easy way out? While I did enjoy the film, I felt it was a little long and disjointed. I'd recommend seeing it once it hits RedBox or Netflix (sorry Derek).

My Score: 7/10

The Words

The Words (2012)
Directed by: Brian Klugman
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 22%

I stated in my Oscar Predictions and also in my review of Silver Linings Playbook that I love it when an actor steps out of their comfort zone. Bradley Cooper continues to impress me (Hangover 3 notwithstanding). He is constantly challenging himself; taking different roles; not getting comfortable. The Words is no exception. I had seen this film advertised months ago and had a small desire to see it but, alas, the desire was not strong enough. I had forgotten about it until I was at RedBox this evening. As I sorted through the titles I had already seen I began to lose hope; that my trek into the storms had been in vain. I saw The Words on the last page of available titles so I got it. This review is going to be a little more spoiler laden than normal because of the nature of the film. I will try and keep things concise and vague (at points), but in order to discuss the film as a whole I feel it is necessary to delve into some key details.

Clay Hammond (Dennis Quaid) is a well known novelist. He has just released his latest book, The Words, and has been invited to read excerpts from it at a public reading. Clay begins to tell the story of Rory Jansen (Bradley Cooper); an aspiring young novelist that has just sold his first book. We see Rory accepting an award for his accomplishment but then Clay backtracks a little to tell how Rory has gotten to where he is. He details Rory's early struggles as an unpublished writer. Rejection letters flooded Rory's mailbox and his father continually doubts his son's ability to write. Dora (Zoe Saldana), Rory's wife, never doubts his ability and she supports his endeavor. While the two take a trip to Paris, Rory finds an old satchel in an antique shop. Dora thinks it suits him so she purchases it. When the two return home, Rory begins to transfer manuscripts to the satchel and finds something tucked away in an inner pocket. What he finds is a novel that had been written many years before by an unknown author. He reads the story and is enthralled by the beauty in the writing. He marvels at how taut the voice is. Rory struggles with knowledge of the story. Does he tell someone; does he throw it away; does he declare it is his? One night, as his thoughts plague him, he decides to get up and transfer the story to his laptop. Dora finds the story and insists that he tell a publisher. We then see that this novel is the one that Rory is being awarded for in the beginning of the story. However, there are consequences when the actual author reads his own words attributed to another person. The Old Man (Jeremy Irons) finds Rory and regales him with his story; the one that Rory stole.

First of all, this shot:


happens at least five times during the course of the film.

There were only two different ones on Google Images.

That's not really important but it was kind of jarring. The Words is, to give some context, almost exactly like Inception. Not in the fact that they are stealing dreams or constantly running from a psychotic, curly haired monster. It is like Inception in that it is extremely complicated at times. As I said before, this review is going to get spoilery so you've been warned. The film starts with Clay telling the story of Rory. Rory has written a story within the story that Clay is telling. It turns out that the story Rory is telling, really happened to The Old Man. He wrote it down and lost it only for it to be discovered years later. The layers begin to intertwine and the plot begins to get muddled a bit. Perhaps the only real technical aspect of The Words occurs during The Old Man's flashbacks. The scenes have a dream-like tone; like sepia tone. This is, of course, short hand for the viewer. We know that these scenes are supposed to have occurred many years ago because that's what the pictures looked like. I am not knocking the technique just pointing out it isn't original.

The Words was better than I thought it would be, but it is not great. The story drags in the middle as The Old Man ambles on about his time in Paris. I forgot that Bradley Cooper was in the movie I was watching, and was surprised when I saw Dennis Quaid again. I feel that it loses its direction which really hurts the overall appeal of the film. I was engaged in Rory's story but I am torn out of that while I am forced to watch the life story of The Old Man (I really wish they'd given him a name). Once The Old Man finishes his I-know-your-secret story the pace gets kicked into overdrive. Resolutions happen too quickly and a very messy situation is wrapped up quite nicely.

No BS

The Words was enjoyable. As the credits rolled, I was happy that I had seen it. I felt that the attempt was admirable and that it was pulled off pretty well. At its heart, I feel this is a love story (depressing but still, a love story). On another note, according to Wikipedia, Klugman was accused of ripping off a German novel called Lila, Lila. How about that irony?

My Score: 6.5/10

The Call

The Call (2013)
Directed By: Brad Anderson
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 36%

The Ides of March proved to be a lackluster film release day. The only two films of note that hit the theaters today were the Steve Carell vehicle/Jim Carrey career revival attempt, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, and the Halle Berry thriller The Call. I typically do not see comedies in the theater because I feel you get the same experience when you spend $1 at RedBox to rent it. Why spend $11/ticket when you can stay home and save a Hamilton. That being said, we chose to see The Call. The trailer had intrigued me enough to want to see it even though the Rotten Tomatoes score is dismal. I have to say, this is actually a very well crafted thriller with one of the most terrifying villans in recent history, but it falls apart in the end.

The Call shows what it's like to be in the high stakes world of 911 Emergency Services Operators. Jordan (Berry) is a normal operator that helps everyone that calls her just like any other operator would; one leg at a time... Jordan is having a normal night until she gets a phone call from a young girl, Leah (Evie Thompson). Leah is terrified because there is someone breaking into her house and she is all alone (of course). Jordan instructs her to find a place to hide and to remain quiet. After a few minutes, Leah effectively hides from the intruder and tells Jordan so, but then the line gets disconnected. Jordan then decides that it is a wise decision to hit "Redial" on her end. This reveals Leah's location to the intruder and she is taken. Sadly, Liam Neeson is not here to save young Leah and she is found the following day; no longer among the living. This rattles Jordan and she decides to become an operator trainer. The film jumps forward six months and we see Jordan is still rattled because she is on several prescription drugs now. As she is leading a tour through "The Hive" (where the operators work) she introduces the trainees to a young operator. She is, more than likely, the person that took over Jordan's station. As Jordan is walking the group out, the young operator gets a call from Casey Welson (Abigail Breslin). She has been abducted from the mall and is currently being kept in the trunk of a vehicle. Jordan sees the rookie flailing so she takes the reigns for one more ride.

I would like to go on record and say that I am surprised at the quality of this film. It was produced by WWE Studios. If you're not familiar with their body of work then please, check this out. They have released high quality films like The Mania of Wrestlemania, Leprechaun: Origins, and The Chaperone. I had very low expectations. What was delivered, while cliched at times, felt like a taut and well thought out thriller. The scenes where Breslin is trapped in the trunk were reminiscent of Ryan Reynold's 2010 film Buried.


The audience feels trapped, claustrophobic, and helpless. The cramped feeling makes you aware of your breathing as you watch Casey struggle to find a way out. What's interesting is that when Jordan has her headset on, you feel the same way (at least I did). Jordan is trapped in her situation because she wants to help Casey escape; she wants to save her life. Berry delivers a great performance and Breslin is proving that she can still hold the screen as well as she did years ago.

I tried to find the dance scene but you get the idea.

The real star of The Call though is Michael Eklund.


"O, you mean Ethan Hawke" is surely what you just said. I don't blame you. Look.


The resemblance is spooky. It's almost like they are twins separated at birth. Enough of that though, his performance was a dash of Norman Bates, with a little bit Buffalo Bill, and a nice helping of The Thin Man from Charlie's Angels.


What? That's not creepy? How about Crispin Glover as a whole?


Yeah, so imagine that type of guy abducting teenage girls. That is what The Call's villan is like. It's intense. I really enjoyed the film until it was very near the end. It all fell apart for me. I won't go into detail about why because I sincerely believe it is worth seeing just to experience Eklund's effedupedness.

No BS

The Call, starring Halle Berry, is an enjoyable film. It is not breaking any ground and it is not necessarily original or fresh but what it delivers is a well produced thriller. Most will be on the edge of their seats as they experience Casey's abduction. Don't let the low RT score throw you off; this one is worth your money.

My Score: 7/10

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012)
Directed by: Benh Zeitlin
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 86%

During this Oscar season I have heard the title Beasts of the Southern Wild tossed around by everybody and their mother. I kept telling myself that I need to see it if everyone is praising it. I kept putting it off until today. I was inspired yesterday when Judd Apatow stated on his Facebook account "Beasts of the Southern Wild is the only movie I have felt the need to watch multiple times this year...". If you know me then you know my fondness for Apatow so that was the last bit of coaxing that I needed. I rented it from RedBox (along with another film that I will review soon) and watched it. It didn't hold my attention like I hoped it would but I can certainly understand the buzz surrounding it.

Beasts of the Southern Wild is about a small community living outside the levees in New Orleans. Hushpuppy, played by Quvenzhané Wallis, lives with her father, Wink (Dwight Henry), and several animals. Her room consists of a trailer perched on a tree while Wink stays in a lean-to construction across a field from her. The start of the film shows how happy Hushpuppy is with her life in The Bathtub (their community) and the strong sense of kinship they all share. The film then transitions to a school lesson where Miss Bathsheba (Gina Montana) tells Hushpuppy and her class that the polar ice caps are melting and that when they are gone, the water is going to cover their homes. She also tells them about Aurochs (the animal that is the precursor to modern cattle) and how they were a creature to be feared. She tells the children that the cavemen would hide and draw images of them on their walls because of their fear and admiration towards them. Hushpuppy begins to have imagine chunks of ice breaking off into the ocean carrying Aurochs inside. She believes that these Aurochs are coming to get her. We learn early in the film that Hushpuppy's father is not well and that he is not as caring as it is initially thought. He proves to be short tempered and somewhat violent towards his daughter. The film explores their relationship as well as the concept of home and community.

Something that immediately caught my attention in this film is how real it all seemed. When films are done about the bayou or New Orleans it always seems like there is a certain element of fantasy involved. I will say that I cannot remember many films depicting these areas except for maybe The Waterboy. Adam Sandler's character (Bobby) lived with his momma in the swamps of Louisiana but it didn't feel like that. Treme is set in post Katrina New Orleans and I think it comes the closest to how the city and area actually feel. The community in Beasts lives in extremely poor conditions yet they don't know anything else. We see Hushpuppy trot around in dirty clothes and galoshes because that's all she owns. The people speak and behave how I imagine they would. The only element of fantasy is the occasional flash of the Aurochs that are heading to The Bathtub. Wallis' narration adds an incredible innocence to the entire film. Her naivety about the ways of the world break your heart. In one scene, she observes sick people in a hospital that are connected to IVs and monitors. She says that when animals get sick here, they plug them into the walls. We take for granted the things that we know and we never think about how foreign some of our actions and comforts might be. Beasts of the Southern Wild is a well constructed film and it is worth seeing to understand what the Oscar buzz surrounding Quvenzhané is all about.

I stated above that this film didn't hold my attention like I hoped it would. I had no idea what I was about to watch when I put the DVD in. I was immediately captivated by the story of Hushpuppy and Wink but grew tired of his Devil may care attitude. I didn't understand how these people that are living in such an abject situation; such dire straits, could so adamantly fight off any help they might receive. I also take objection with the Academy. I wonder if they considered a Best Actor nomination for Dwight Henry because he had a fantastic performance as Wink.

No BS

Beasts of the Southern Wild is a film about the relationship between a girl and her father as they survive in the lowlands outside of New Orleans. There are some lighthearted moments in the film but they are sparse. At heart, this film is a drama about growing up and facing what the world throws at you. If you have asked why Wallis has been nominated for a Best Actress Oscar then definitely see this because you'll see why immediately.

My Score: 7/10

Season of the Witch

Season of the Witch (2011)
Directed by: Dominic Sena and Brett Ratner
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 10%

I had the urge tonight to do another Hate Watch Review and Nic Cage immediately entered my brain. I heard his voice question "But which bitchin' movie of mine will you watch, Heath!?" "Well, Nic, that is a valid question. With so many God-awful movies under your belt how does one choose" I replied. I thought it would be wise to search Netflix for the worst movie I could find. I settled on one of his SEVEN films from 2011; Season of the Witch. Yes, you read that last sentence correctly. Seven films in 2011. There are some actors that pledge to never make another movie ever again after seven films (Hugh Grant et al.) but Cage says, "What other crazy sh*t can I do!?" Well Mr. Cage, this truly is a testament to your willingness to do anything. Be aware, I am going to go into detail about the movie in its entirety. Unlike my other films where I discuss parts; I plan on telling you exactly why this is held in such low regard across all of humanity. Enjoy!

Season of the Witch opens with a "trial" on a bridge in which several women are being accused of consorting with Lucifer. I put those quotation marks around the word trial because there is no way on Earth these women are going to live through this ordeal. Of the three women, one confesses to witchcraft. It is obvious that she is just trying to save her skin because she doesn't possess the hallmarks that all witches possess (shadowy eyes, gnarled teeth, bluish grey skin, a crazy crooked nose) like her companions. When the priest has condemned them all he signals his fellow priests to toss them over the bridge; effectively breaking their necks. They double up the murder by dunking them underwater and leaving them. As the crowd disperses, the head priest objects to his brother's haste to leave. They say that they believe they are as dead as they can be and that they have no concern for the sacrements that must be performed for their souls. The head priest decides to do the task alone and suffers for it when, surprise, the witches are not dead.

Fast forward some time to what appears to be The Crusades. Ron Perlman and Nicolas Cage are on top of a hill taking wagers on who will kill the most baddies. Violence ensues. Fast forward more time. A similar scene occurs. This is the filmmakers way of telling us that "Nic Cage and Ron Perlman are bad dudes in this movie" and I can appreciate the shorthand. Fast forward again to another massacre only this time Cage (his character's name is unimportant) sees women and children have been slain. This is not glorious to Cage. When he expresses his distaste for the scene the head knight calls him insolent. Feeling thoroughly unrighteous, Vincent from the Beauty and the Beast TV series leans over and says "Let's get the Hell out of here" (which is definitely how Crusaders talked). Cage realizes that that is a terrific idea and the two head off aimlessly; destined to star in a buddy cop movie set in the Crusades era.

Cage and Dieter from Blade II walk for a while and they happen upon a house filled with corpses. They set the house on fire (because that's what you did in those days) and continue on. Their next stop is a castle racked by plague. Apparently Cage is a celebrity even during the Crusades because he hides his face as they ride through the streets. Koulikov from Enemy at the Gates, on the other hand, couldn't care less who sees him (much like in the Present). The two are discovered to be Crusaders when a stableboy sees the emblem on Cage's sword. The two are confronted by guards and an epic sword fight breaks out (which ends in 33 seconds). The two are taken to see the Cardinal by the guards and they are commissioned to escort a witch, that is believed to be the cause of the Plague, to a Monastery. When Cage refuses, they are thrown in prison. After a dream, Cage decides to accept the Cardinal's condition if he agrees that the alleged witch will receive a trial (no quotations) and the desertion charges are lifted from Hellboy and himself. The Cardinal agrees.

The crew find a snake oil peddler that knows the way to the Monastery and hire him to lead their crew. When the group goes to retrieve the witch, they find that she is a young girl. After they are attacked by the not quite sedated witch, Cage backhands her and ensures that she is, in fact, unconscious. They then set out for the monastery.

As the crew (or crüe) travels they discuss things like: fighting, witches, STDs, etc. Cage then uses his Cage sense to catch someone that has been following them. It is revealed that an altar boy (escaping the Church) wishes to accompany them on their journey. Cage pits Johner from Alien Resurrection and the altar boy against each other in a fit. When the Kay (the altar boy) proves his worth, Cage accepts him into the fold. The group continues to walk for a while...I missed some of the details because I was looking for more names to call Ron Perlman. As the group is resting for the night they agree to take turns watching over the witch. When it is the priests turn to watch her, she grows hysterical (insert joke here about kids and priests). She attacks him, steals his key, and escapes. The crüe follows her to a nearby village and a man(witch)hunt begins. They all break apart to cover more ground and one of the knights begins to hallucinate. He believes the witch is his daughter so he begins to aimlessly runabout. He is run through by Kay on accident because he thought the figure rushing crazily towards him was the witch. They find the witch and she apologizes for running. She explains that she couldn't stand being touched by the priest again (...). They bury the knight and go on their way.

After more walking and an ambush by wolves, where their guide is killed, the group arrives at the Monastery. They go inside and find that all the monks have been killed by the Plague. It is at this point where the true nature of the witches affliction reveals itself. She is not a witch at all but is possessed by a demon. The priest starts to perform an exorcism but the demon easily quiets him. The demon then possesses nearby dead monks to combat the knights. In the battle, most of the group is slain (including the guy that provided the voice of Clayface in Batman: The Animated Series). Nic Cage fights fights off the demon as Kay finishes the ritual in which the demon is vanquished from the Earth. Cage has Kay promise to look after the witch (no longer a witch). He agrees and buries all the dead folks.

Wow. That is all I can really say about this movie. It is a great film to watch for the joy that hating it brings. Nic Cage proves once again that he, is limited by nothing. Now, enjoy the wonderful song "Season of the Witch" by Donovan


No BS

Season of the Witch showcases Nic Cage being Nic Cage beautifully! It is a terrible film and has almost no redeeming qualities (Christopher Lee is in it for 3 minutes total) but if you are drunk it could provide some great laughs!

My Score: 4/10